pls proof read "Online game addiction" - 303 words

Hi. I would greatly appreciate your time and effort to proof read my 3 paragraphs. Written for a media class assignment, magazine article. Please tell me the grammar mistakes in it. I've read it a few times though. The human mind may function as same as a rat pressing a level repetitively in a psychologist lab or similar to the famous Pablo’s dog’s conditioned brain. However, it is worth to note that MMOG games offer players more than mere pieces of meat or zaps of electrons to the brain. A rat in a cage has limited options: eat one kind of food, sleep, defecate, press level, and watch the same old human observing you. A MMOG game provides you an extra world with endless possibilities to explore. A world where you can be whoever you want and do all your heart desire. A world to escape to when responsibilities seem unbearable. It is as simple as attaching your hand to your mouse or the keyboard and you’re there. Click-click! In a matter of a few second, a virtual book appears on screen. Written on it is Maple Story, featuring a snap shot of a colorful forest. I enter my ID, password, and direct the small pointing hand in white glove towards the ‘Login’ button. Click! There I am, in a world with bright colors and all kinds of good-looking characters exist pleasantly on the eyes. Apparently I have shrunk into a three centimeter slim body stuck to an unusual large head with blue eyes accommodate 2/3 of my round face. Press F5 and my character execute an expression of shock. Hey, with that kind of expression I still look attractively cute! But most important, this game works better than any make up or plastic surgery invented on Earth. A few clicks here and there... Tada! Those annoying pimples and wrinkles vanished. Don’t like your skin color ? Go ahead and pick blue for a change. Unsatisfied with your weight or height? Don’t even bother, in Maple Story everyone have identical genes.