pls i need your help to correct my motivation letter from the embassy : to tell the reason why i choose germany and interested to learn german

To whom it may concern
My name is xy, I am 24 years old from …….. I have completed my high school in year 2008 from ….(Private school) in … and have studied Hotel administration from …. in …...
The reason I have chosen the further my degree in electrical engineering in Germany is to develop my skills, have a lot of experiences and a strong personality because I am aware that they are good in this field by making a lot of researches from the internet. This program will equip me with the necessary skills for my future career.
I also believe that knowing German as the third language will be a great advantage for me over my former colleagues when I return back to my home country. I am well educated person who takes pleasure in a guest service capacity and ready to learn different culture.
Getting in contact with a lot of different people and their culture and get to know and experience them personally are very important stages to develop your personality and broaden your horizons. Therefore Germany will be a great opportunity to develop my personality, get in contact with many people, experience their way of life and in addition to improve my German skills.
During my stay in Germany, my father has agreed to support me financially

Yours faithfully,