Pls help to review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people argue that learning a second language involves learning the culture of the country where this language is spoken. What is your opinion?

My essay:

There is a school of thought that foreign language acquisition requires a thorough understanding of cultures in which languages are spoken. To the best of my knowledge, this judgment is correct with the following supporting justifications.
Firstly, it is important to recognize that language is an integral part of many cultures. In other words, in order to master any languages, learners should put themselves in the cultural context to prevent any misunderstanding, misinterpretation. That is to say, sometimes non-verbal messages tell people more than verbal messages do. For example, silence in English-speaking countries may imply the mutual agreement while it may convey a message to the contrary in Asian countries like disagreement or even resentment.
Secondly, it is probably true that culture influences the evolution and formation of any languages. In a simple term, some well-known words used widely in the past are not prevailing in current language due to cultural modifications. Consequently, keeping well-updated with cultural trends can help students to catch up with the latest, most precise language usage. Besides, learners can take full advantages of the proficiency in cultures to boost their language mastery at an unprecedented pace. For instance, some foreigners studying Vietnamese use the old aged words which have been disappeared several centuries ago. Another example is that with the introduction of computerization and technology, there are some new words appearing and becoming popular to human such as e-book, e-commerce. Therefore, leaners knowing that can shorten their language learning route by immediate application of these new words to their usage.
In conclusion, acquiring a second language cannot be separated from blending into indigenous cultures as they are in the interwoven relationship