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Long hoang Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Pls help me mark this sample ielts writing test. Thanks

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?


It is true that higher positions are regularly held by elder people in an organisation these days. While some people believe that younger is able to manage to lead them more effective, I am convinced that senior managers could maintain organisation better than younger.

On the one hand, from an educational perspective, it cannot be denied that young people who currently have been prepared broadly academic knowledge for leading more than last generations. While the positive developing of school syllabus plays a large role of providing amount of young leaders, elder managers have lack of instruction set when they learnt about leadership at stereotypical school before. For instance, in Singapore, young directors are not only trained by brilliant leaders but also they have opportunity to go other country in order to become a volunteer in a reality organisation frequently. In additionally, they tend to inject new blood into organisation such as dynamic solution to control employees effectively.

On the other hand, it is extremely difficult for young people to compare with old directors in term of experience. Leadership do not only require general knowledge but also they are able to be aware of reality orientation skills that could not earn from school. For example, those entrepreneurs who manage to a company could provide a number of feasible solution within tremendous pressure because they can control calmly positively action. As a result, year of experience is a vital element that could not be achieved rapidly, so the individuals and organisations tend to hire young people in order to hold a less important function such as marketing management or seller and so on.

In conclusion, although the young may be increased awareness for some decade, I strongly assume that critical positions of authority should be given to senior staff members for the certain reasons mentioned rather than the young.

  

Top answer

It is true that higher positions are regularly held by elder people in an organisation these days . While some people believe that younger is able to manage to lead them more effective , I am convinced that senior managers could maintain organisation better than younger (missing word) . On the one hand, from an educational perspective, it cannot be denied that young people who currently have been prepared broadly academic knowledge for leading more than last generations .

  • It is true that higher positions are regularly held by elder people in an organisation these days .
  • While some people believe that younger is able to manage to lead them more effective , I am convinced that senior managers could maintain organisation better than younger (missing word) .
  • On the one hand, from an educational perspective, it cannot be denied that young people who currently have been prepared broadly academic knowledge for leading more than last generations .
  • (badly-formed clause.
  • ) While the positive developing of school syllabus plays a large role of providing amount of young leaders, elder managers have lack of instruction set when they learnt about leadership at stereotypical school before.
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It is true that higher positions are regularly held by elder people in an organisation these days. While some people believe that younger is able to manage to lead them more effective, I am convinced that senior managers could maintain organisa

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