Pls help me give some feedbacks of this writing task 2

Today students find it difficult to concentrate and pay attention to school. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

People have different views about whether pupils nowadays find it difficult to focus on curriculum and pay attention at school. From my perspective, this problem caused by some factors, and it should be dealt with by effective solutions.

To begin with, several compelling reasons can be recorded to explain why pupils feel overwhelmed by the hectic schedule and hard to focus on many subjects at school. First of all, most of the optional subjects at schools relevant to science, literature, philosophy, mathematics which have a negatively impact on students’well-being. Besides, pupils feel exhausted by a ton of deadlines and fall behind with your studies if not study under supervision due to lack of self-reliant and self-paced learning. The typical example of this is that many students in the present day have to pay off student loans to manage tuition fees and thus they have inadequate time to follow the continuous assessments causing the deterioration of academic performance and well-being. Secondly, some schools are too focusing on theory than practical life skills. To illustrate, some outdoor activities are limited to students, therefore they are likely to feel stress out and do not have free periods to bond the relationship with each other.

Furthermore, feasible solutions can be taken to tackle the aforementioned problem. Firstly, teachers do research to survey what pupils’ thought and give them a chance to give feedback after each lesson. It allows them to express their opinions. Additionally, students are likely to become a high-flyer and obtain knowledge to have good academic performance, together with critical skills. Second, there is a wide variety of outdoor activities that should be held in order to bond the relationship and enhance soft skills. It gives them an opportunity for them to have future prosperity, together with chances of climbing to a career ladder. Moreover, providing more cutting-edge amenities to a variety of classrooms to stimulate the creation and interactive learning for students allowing them to make more effort to exceed peers and focusing on academic subjects.

To sum up, it is clear that there are various reasons why students are overwhelmed by the schedule and have a lack of concentration at school., and some measures should be taken to solve this problem.