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An Lê Kim Hoài Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Pls help me correct the essay. Thank you so much

Topic: Extreme sports such as sky diving & skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In recent decades, some people insist that adventure sports are too hazard and to eliminate risk governments should stop people from participating in. I totally disagree with this idea for some following reasons.

I believe that extreme sports are not too dangerous to be banned. First, every sport can have its athletes suffer from injuries which may include broken bone or even death, carelessness causes most fatalities, not sports themselves. There should be clear regulation and safety procedure to minimize unacceptable danger levels. In fact, people who participate in extreme sports accept a certain level of risk of injury, before taking part in these activities they are required to undergo appropriate training, which helps them to understand all risk factors, safety instruction as well as unacceptable injury precautions. Second, fully equipping proper protective equipment will help to prevent participants from danger. This means that, wearing helmet and safety shoes when doing skiing would help to protect people from effects of accidents.

On the other hand, there are a number of reasons why governments should not prohibit players from extreme sports. First, many research papers show that in the last thirty years, adventure sports have become increasingly popular, while traditional team sports have declined. In fact, extreme sports are hard to achieve, they may bring high level of satisfaction and give participants a sense of pushing out personal boundaries, which makes these kinds of sports become more enjoyable. Second, extreme sports do not only bring positive physical but also mental benefits for those who participate. For example, to be qualified for a particular challenge, players have to make a lot of efforts to maintain required physical condition, which results in better health for them in long run.

In conclusion, banning dangerous sports limits the freedom of choosing from a wide range of sports that people should feel free to participate in. I would believe that as long as participants are aware about their acceptable risk target, government should not stop them from enjoying themselves.

  

Top answer

In recent decades , S ome people insist that adventure sports are too hazard (wrong word. ) and to eliminate risk governments should stop people from participating in them. I totally disagree with this idea for some following reasons .

  • In recent decades , S ome people insist that adventure sports are too hazard (wrong word.
  • ) and to eliminate risk governments should stop people from participating in them.
  • I totally disagree with this idea for some following reasons .
  • I believe that extreme sports are not too dangerous to be banned.
  • First, every sport can have its athletes suffer from injuries which may include broken bone (wrong form) or even deat h, (wrong punctuation, comma splice error) carelessness causes most fatalities, not sports themselves.
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1 Answers
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In recent decades, Some people insist that adventure sports are too hazard (wrong word. Hazard is a noun, you need an adjective here.) and to eliminate risk governments should stop people from participating in them. I totally disagree with this

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