Pls help me correct my essay

Topic: Extreme sports such as sky diving & skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Recently, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of extreme sports, and some people argue that government should put a halt on them. I totally disagree with the opinion that these activities are too dangerous to be banned.

In my opinion, adventure sports are not as unsafe as many people think. First, in orders to assure safety while taking part in these activities, people are required to undergo some appropriate trainings. For example, a new joiner is normally guided on how they can use the snowboard and get familiar with skiing skill, which helps them to prevent from being physically injured due to unexpected accidents happening when playing the game. Second, if athletes are well equipped with proper protective clothing or equipment, the likelihood of being damaged will be minimized. This means that when players of such risky sports like diving or skiing follow safety requirements on wearing, they are likely to avoid potential risks of being hurt.

On the other hand, it would be impossible to forbid the public from joining into extreme sports. Since there are some drawbacks to the prohibition of extreme sports, the government would be struggled in getting people to obey the law. In fact, some risky sports like mountain climbing or sky diving generally happen in the wild or remote area, which prevents the authorities from strictly controlling adventurers. Second, by being banned from playing the favorite sports, people will commonly get disappointed. This means that people commonly should have the right to freely enjoy their loved sports, but if their choices were prohibited, people would have the tendency to go against the law which they do not want to adopt.

In conclusion, I disagree with the view expressed in the statement. While extremes sports could endanger players, safety precautions and skill training will cover them from accidentally being wounded, which also does not limit a player’s passion for the sport.