PLS! Help me by checking my essay _ social media

Topic: The use of social media is replacing face- to- face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

My essay:

It is well-known fact that social media plays important role and is more popular over than before. While I can accept that social networking sites have many positive effects, I also believe that there are more likely to have detrimental impacts.

On the one hand, social media has a huge role to enhance life quality. First, people are able to establish and maintain various relationships through social media, irrespective of geography barriers. This positive aspect contributes to cross-cultural difference and gives people more opportunities to expand their horizon, especially their language. Second, many entrepreneurs take advantage of popularity of social networking sites, such as Facebook, Instargram in order to sell and adverse their productions. They associate influencers, celebrities who have a great deal of followers, fans on social media. Inissfree, for example, is a Korean skincare brand, which has worked with many YouTubers in Vietnam, such as Giang Oi, Trinh Pham, whereby adverse and attract many interests of Vietnamese people.

On the other hand, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by detrimental impacts. First, because of social media, people are lack of face –to-face communication, especially young people. They tend to chat and post updates their life on social network sites rather than meeting in person that leads to people feel lonely than generations in the past and prevent people from developing social skills. This is the case in the developing world in countries such as Vietnam. Second, online users cope with many dangers about personal information. Social networking sites are not safe place, so personal information enable to leak easily. In recent years, many online criminals are arrested because of swindling money based on credit card number.

In conclusion, although social media has many positive aspects, I still believe that the lack of personal contact and issues of privacy outweigh the advantages.