Pls!!! Help me by checking my essay _ LANGUAGE

Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

My essay:

It is true that children need to learn a foreign language While I accept that children at primary school can sometimes have a negative effects when they learn a foreign language, I believe that it is more likely to have positive effects.

On the one hand, I can say that sometimes, children will be under too much pressure because of either studying new language or score. For example, children who are studying at primary school tend to be interested in outside activities, so it is difficult for then to concentrate new language in the classroom. They will feel reluctant to learn language, moreover, lose their language passion. In addition, children will be easy to have language disorder. When they are studying at primary school, they are improving their mother tongue. If teachers or parents try to force them learn another language, expect their mother tongue, they will feel overwhelms and have language disorder when they speak in life.

On the other hand, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed the negatuve aspects. First, children are more likely to understand well and make a foreign language become second mother language tongue. For example, some Korean parents give their children to go abroad and live in some English countries, such as America, Singapore or New Zealand. It is one of the best way for chilren to practice their English skills, especially speaking skill which can be natural. These children can speak English very well although they come back Korea. This is a great evidence to show the importance to study language as soon as possible. In addition, it is certain that children have much time to study and practice a foreign language when they are studying at primary school rather than at secondary school. For instance, in Vietnam, primary school tend to organize many interesting activities to develop children's mentally and physically rather than concentration to class time. In contrast, secondary school is more likely to have many tests and homework to improve their ability about many aspects throughs variety of subjects, such as literature, maths or history. As a result, children's time in a secondary school is less than others in a primary school to learn a foreign language. This is the most obvious reason to encourage children to learn s foreign language when they are still studying at primary school.

In conclusion, after weighing the pros and cons, I would say that children have to learn a foreign language at primary school which have more possible benefits rather than at secondary school.