Pls correct this sentance

Question

A position in an industry which provides me opportunities to make a strong contribution towards organizational goals and self-improvement through development of professional skills.

Clodpole · Accepted Answer

Hi anonymous.

Two minor suggestions for you:

"provides me with opportunities"

and

"and for self-improvement"

You could also add a comma after the word "goals".

Hope this helps,

Clodpole

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousA position in an industry which provides me opportunities to make a strong contribution towards organizational goals and self-improvement through development of professional skills.

First of all, you should know that this is not a sentence. You are presenting the idea of a certain kind of position, but you've said nothing about it. You must make what you've written the subject or object of a verb. There is no main verb.

I would say "... through the development ..."

It's unclear how the 'self-improvement' phrase relates to the preceding phrase. That should be stated differently.

CJ

Pls correct this sentance

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