Pls checking my ielts writing task 2

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many hold the belief that raising the minimum legal age for motorists and motorcyclists is an optimal measure to reduce the number of road accidents. Personal, I am firmly convinced that there are other better methods to ensure the safety of road travelers.

To begin with, I believe it is a good idea to increase age required for driving in order to lower the frequent of traffic accident. First, it is well-known the fact that driving is a physically and mentally demanding task. In fact, some motor-vehicle owners are not mature and experienced enough to handle dangerous situations on the street, there by leading to serious accidents. Second, widening driving age means a staggering number of people commuting. What follows is chaotic in the traffic flow and the feeling insecurity among commuters.

However, there are still other more practical options that could be implemented to ensure road safety. It is advisable that the government assume responsibility for upgrading the existing facilities of transport system. If roads are expanded and improved, private car drivers and motorcyclists will likely to enjoy easier commute and there will lower chance the chance of crash occurred. Furthermore, states should impose stricter punishment on those who show disobey traffic rules. For instance, when motorcycle riders are fined heavily and have to pay huge fine from their own pocket, they have a tendency to adhere to the traffic laws better.

In conclusion, apart from minimizing driving age, stricter laws and better roads make a considerable contribution in making sure safety for every commuter.