PLS CHECK MY SELF-STUDY IELTS WRITTING TASK 1 ! GIVE OPINION AND CORRECT IF TEACHER CAN!! TKS

Question

The line graph describe the change of population in three states of US (Columbia, Yamhill, Washington) in 60 years from 1940 to 2000. Units are measured in thousands.

Overall, we can observed clearly that, population in Washington was the highest compared to two remaining states. This trend continued to grow dramatically to final years. While Columbia and Yamhill had the same patterns of growth, they increased slowly over the given period.

With regarded to population of Washington, in the frist year it started about 75 thounsands of people and rose quickly to approximately 120 thousands in 1970. Surprisingly, this upward trend continued to peak dramatically to by over 240 thousands in final year.

On the other hand, population of Yamhill was just higher columbia slightly but two countries had the same patterns of population growth. From 1940 to 1970 the population of Yamhill and Columbia experienced an slightly increase just about 30 thousand to 45 thousands of people. Likewise, from 1970 to final year population rate of Yamhill increased steadily to 90.000 of people in 2000 while this figure of Columbia was 60 thousands of people in the last year. PLS CHECK MY SELF-STUDY IELTS WRITTING TASK 1 ! GIVE OPINION AND CORRECT IF TEACHER CAN!! TKS

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You have many errors. These are highlighted with comments.

The line graph ~~describe~~ (wrong word, wrong form) gives the ~~change of~~ (incorrect. The actual population numbers are plotted, not the changes in population) population in three states ( 1. Wrong word. These geopolitical areas are not states.) of US (wrong abbreviation) (Columbia, Yamhill, and Washington) in (wrong word) 60 years from 1940 to 2000. ~~Units are measured in thousands.~~

(wrong expression. We do not measure units. The Y-axis label is the units of measurement. In this case it is thousands. )

Overall, ~~we can observed clearly that,~~ (Those words do not describe the graph. They are completely unnecessary.) population in Washington was the highest compared to the other two ~~remaining~~ states. This trend continued to grow dramatically (not a good word here) to final years. (wrong expression) While Columbia and Yamhill had the same patterns of growth, they increased slowly over the given period.

With regarded to population of Washington, in the frist year it started out at about 75 thounsands ( 2. wrong form) of people (wrong expression) and rose quickly to approximately 120 thousands (wrong form) in 1970. ~~Surprisingly~~, (That is an opinion word. Do not give opinions or reactions or conclusions in Task 1) this upward trend continued to peak (wrong word. 3. There are no peaks on this graph.) dramatically to by over 240 thousands in final year.

~~On the other hand~~, (incorrect usage of transition phrase.) the population of Yamhill was just higher than columbia (wrong form. Proper names begin with a capital letter.) slightly but the two countries had the same patterns of population growth. From 1940 to 1970 the population of Yamhill and Columbia rose / went up ~~experienced~~ (wrong word. Numbers do not have experiences.) ~~an slightly increase~~ just about 30 thousand to 45 thousands of people. (wrong expression) Likewise, from 1970 to 2000 the ~~final year~~ population rate (wrong word. There are no rates plotted on this graph, but you can calculate a rate using your calculator. 4. Do you know how to do this?) of Yamhill increased steadily to 90.000 of people in 2000 while ~~this figure of~~ in Columbia it was 60 thousands of people in the last year.

1. Geopolitical units in the USA

The United States is a country. It is divided into 50 states. Alaska is the largest, and Texas is second largest. Oregon is one of the 50 states.

Each state, except for Louisiana, is divided into counties. Oregon has 36 counties.
The smaller geopolitical units in Louisiana are called parishes, not counties.

Here is a map of Oregon showing the three counties in this essay. They are fairly small in area compared to other counties.

2. How to write numbers:

There are thousands of fans in the stadium. (In this case, there is no specific number, but you know it is more than 2 thousand.)

There are over 23 thousand people in the stadium. (It is wrong to say "thousands" when you have a numerical value.)

3. Read my advice for vocabulary words on Task 1:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

4.. How to calculate a rate.

A rate is a change per unit of time, commonly given as a percentage. You can visualize a rate by the slant of the line on a graph. The steeper the slant, the higher the rate.

For example, the highest growth rate is in Washington County between 1970 and 2000. It is 3.2% per year.

Here is the calculation:

The lowest growth rate is in Columbia County between 1940 and 1970.

PLS CHECK MY SELF-STUDY IELTS WRITTING TASK 1 ! GIVE OPINION AND CORRECT IF TEACHER CAN!! TKS

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