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Hasnita Posted 23 years ago
Grammar
Pls check my grammar
Dear all,
I have discussed with Aini on our proposal - sponsorship or contest marketing approach.
She is agreeable with the sponsorship items - pen and note book worth RM 5000 for both items. These two items will be distributed to all guest who will be attending the conference. She is also aware that part of having their showcase logo, we would like to have our company name printed on all the items.
However, Aini would like to have the previlage to coordinate the ordering of these two items with the cost of RM 5000 chargeble to VADS.
I have discussed with Aini on our proposal - sponsorship or contest marketing approach.
She is agreeable with the sponsorship items - pen and note book worth RM 5000 for both items. These two items will be distributed to all guest who will be attending the conference. She is also aware that part of having their showcase logo, we would like to have our company name printed on all the items.
However, Aini would like to have the previlage to coordinate the ordering of these two items with the cost of RM 5000 chargeble to VADS.
Top answer
Hi hasnita, welcome to the forums! I was a little unsure of your meaning in some paragraphs Dear all, I have discussed our proposal with Aini; the sponsorship or contest marketing approach. She has agreed on the sponsorship terms, a pen and note book worth RM 5000.
- Hi hasnita, welcome to the forums!
- I was a little unsure of your meaning in some paragraphs Dear all, I have discussed our proposal with Aini; the sponsorship or contest marketing approach.
- She has agreed on the sponsorship terms, a pen and note book worth RM 5000.
- These two items will be distributed to all guests attending the conference.
- She is also aware that as part of having their showcase logo present; we would like to have our company name printed on all the items.
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4 Answers
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Hi hasnita, welcome to the forums! I was a little unsure of your meaning in some paragraphs
Dear all,
I have discussed our proposal with Aini; the sponsorship or contest marketing approach.
She has agreed on the sponsorship terms, a pen and note book worth RM 5000. These two items will be distributed to all guests attending the conference. She is also aware that as
Dear all,
I have discussed our proposal with Aini; the sponsorship or contest marketing approach.
She has agreed on the sponsorship terms, a pen and note book worth RM 5000. These two items will be distributed to all guests attending the conference. She is also aware that as
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The revised version is crisper and clearer, except for this sentence: "She has agreed on the sponsorship terms, a pen and note book worth RM 5000." Here it seems that she has agreed on three things instead of two.
The original dash was better instead of the comma. To be typogrphically correct, it should be a spaced en-dash or a tight em-dash. Alternatives are colon or "which are" or "wh
The original dash was better instead of the comma. To be typogrphically correct, it should be a spaced en-dash or a tight em-dash. Alternatives are colon or "which are" or "wh
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Tnx N, nicely noticed:
She has agreed on the sponsorship terms - a pen and note book worth RM 5000.
She has agreed on the sponsorship terms - a pen and note book worth RM 5000.
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Also, isn't "notebook" usually one word?
I think the same reasoning could be applied to the first sentence. I like the original dash. A colon, I think, might be even better.
And I don't see why you choose to use a semicolon in the penultimate sentence. It seems to me that "as part of having their showcase logo present" should be set off by commas, no? "She is also aware that we would li
I think the same reasoning could be applied to the first sentence. I like the original dash. A colon, I think, might be even better.
And I don't see why you choose to use a semicolon in the penultimate sentence. It seems to me that "as part of having their showcase logo present" should be set off by commas, no? "She is also aware that we would li
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