Please,help me for my motivation letter.

I 'm from Thailand and I apply for university in france.It's my dream to study in this country.I would appriciate if you could help me.I afraid that it's too short but I don't want to make it's boring and I'm not sure what should I write more.Someone told me I should write something about my hobby or my favorite sport to show I am interesting ,why I want to study aboard to show I am an open boy and what should I get if I learn in their university to show why they should choose me. I try to write it down. When I read it I feel like something missing. What should I do?

Thank you very much for spend your time to read it. I look forward to your response.

This is my letter

I graduated from Aerospace Engineering Faculty. During, I study in this field I have a chance to know a lot about aviation such as maintenance, operation, air traffic control or pilot. That let’s me know that how much I love about aviation. The most favorite part for me is about operation. It needs a lot of responsibility and precision. So I always find the way to have more experience. I have a chance to go to have an internship in . I do the research about effect from the other airplane. It‘s not exactly about operation but it’s make me know how and why the separation is needed for airplane. I learn how to do the research with foreigner. I like it too I can exchange my knowledge and know more about thinking of people. It’s very good for me. Aviation is a system. These jobs always have to work with other people from any part of the world. After I come back I do the research about Aviation job in . So I know what kind of qualification need for this job.

It will be a great chance for me to improve my knowledge and ability in . is a very good country for aviation, which has a high technology and a good system. It’s not only one reason for me to wish to study in France but also because of French culture which is different from my own culture such a beauty, architecture, marvelous history. I have French friends. When I see they work, I always think that it will be fun if I can work with people like them.

I intend to do the best I can to study aerospace engineering but I will never forget to make friends and accept new cultures with gladness. I am a Thai boy. I was born in and have lived here for all of my life. I want to learn the other’s cultures and adapt it to my life. I want to see and study how developed countries people think and drive their countries. It is the great opportunity for me to study in .