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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Please take look at this sentence

Hi!
Please take look at this sentence. How can I improve it so that it would not be this clumsy?

According to the account statement, immediately after the signing of the loan agreement the bank transferred the funds on March 11; March 14; and March 22, 2011 in the corresponding amounts of USD 11,000; USD 5,000; and USD 13,000, in total USD 29,000, stating “loan” as a payment object.


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Top answer

According to the account statement, immediately after the signing of the loan agreement the bank transferred funds on March 11, March 14 and March 22, 2011 in the amounts of USD 11,000, 5,000 and 13,000 respectively (total USD 29,000), indicating loan payment as the purpose.

  • According to the account statement, immediately after the signing of the loan agreement the bank transferred funds on March 11, March 14 and March 22, 2011 in the amounts of USD 11,000, 5,000 and 13,000 respectively (total USD 29,000), indicating loan payment as the purpose.
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According to the account statement, immediately after the signing of the loan agreement the bank transferred funds on March 11, March 14 and March 22, 2011 in the amounts of USD 11,000, 5,000 and 13,000 respectively (total USD 29,000), indicating loan payment as the purpose.

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