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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Business & Finance
Please suggest improvements to my letter?
Hi,
We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients.
Our Mission:To serve the needs of our clients with a menu of traditional and tailored services designed to free the client
from the headaches and hassles of residential property management while maximizing the value of the investment.
Our Services include:
- Tenant Search and placement at no cost to owner
- Handover on owner's behalf from the previous tenant.
- Maintenance, repainting during tenant move in/move out.
- Other financial transactions(property tax, maintenance charges etc) on your behalf.
As you already rented your flat at XYZ Apartments, you can utilize our services for hassle free management of
your flat.
We are already managing flats in XYZ Apartments for which reference can be provided on demand.
Looking forward to a positive response and long term relationship
Please visit our website www.ABC.com or mail us at
email: Email Removed
Ph: +00-11111-00110
Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call our office.
"When it comes to property management use our shield to your benefit and relax"
Best Regards
ABC services
We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients.
Our Mission:To serve the needs of our clients with a menu of traditional and tailored services designed to free the client
from the headaches and hassles of residential property management while maximizing the value of the investment.
Our Services include:
- Tenant Search and placement at no cost to owner
- Handover on owner's behalf from the previous tenant.
- Maintenance, repainting during tenant move in/move out.
- Other financial transactions(property tax, maintenance charges etc) on your behalf.
As you already rented your flat at XYZ Apartments, you can utilize our services for hassle free management of
your flat.
We are already managing flats in XYZ Apartments for which reference can be provided on demand.
Looking forward to a positive response and long term relationship
Please visit our website www.ABC.com or mail us at
email: Email Removed
Ph: +00-11111-00110
Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call our office.
"When it comes to property management use our shield to your benefit and relax"
Best Regards
ABC services
Top answer
My two cents: The letter can be more brief and precise. We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients. ] Let's see what an expert has to say here.
- My two cents: The letter can be more brief and precise.
- We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients.
- ] Let's see what an expert has to say here.
- Tom
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2 Answers
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My two cents:
The letter can be more brief and precise.
We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients.
[ABC Services provides complete property management....]
To serve the needs of our clients with a menu of traditional and tailored services des
The letter can be more brief and precise.
We are an organization named property ABC Services, providing complete property management services to our clients.
[ABC Services provides complete property management....]
To serve the needs of our clients with a menu of traditional and tailored services des
00
First it appears you provide services for the owner of the apartment, but then you address the tenant. That leaves me completely confused about what you actually do.
Tom is right - it's far too wordy and rambling. And don't ever start a business letter with "Hi,"
Tom is right - it's far too wordy and rambling. And don't ever start a business letter with "Hi,"
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