please somebody give me a suggestion!!!

Question

Hello,I've looked for some old posts about the motivation letter in this forum but I couldn't find any letters which are similar to my case. I'm studying life science at the moment. I would like to change my study to language course. An institution I want to apply for, requires a motivation letter. Do you think is it necessary to tell them why I have to change the study? Please somebody help me just a guideline on the first paragraph.Thank you in advance!Emma

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

I think it would be a good idea to give them an indication of why you have changed otherwise they will be left to ponder over it for themselves.

Elephunk_success · Answer

Hello Nona the brit,

Thank you for your reply. Here is my motivation letter. Could you please take a look? There are 2 questions that I have to answer

1. Why do you want to join the course?

2. Would you like to be considered for entry into the foundation year or the second year?

I have a problem about linking idea, it should be about 3-4 paragraphs. I don't know how to make it flow smoothly. I also worry about grammar. I'd appreciate for a comment to improve my letter.

Here it is!

Dear Ms (name),

I am writing to apply for the bachelor of (course) in the academic year 2006/2007. I would like to be considered for entry into the foundation year of the programme.

At the moment, I am studying (....) Science course at (college) in (city). I have been facing lots of problem such as being under pressure when I cannot handle some experiments which are executed during the course, and the course content is too difficult. I have thoroughly considered that this kind of profession will not suit me. I prefer studying language to science.

In February this year, I started looking for other schools which provide language study. Then I found the programme in your school. I was very enthusiastic about it. As you know, I made a contact with you many times. By going to the open day, I was impressed by the place and the teacher I was talking to, she is so kind.

This is not the important reason yet. I think I am right for this study because of my experiences. Although, I studied science programme when I was in the secondary school, I often participated in English activities, I chose English as my elective subject. I like to study English because it is the primary internation language in today's world. There were two Canadian teachers working in my school. That was a great opportunity for me to learn English from the native speakers. After I finished the secondary school, I worked as a voluntary teacher in my old school. I taught English to the upper secondary students for 15 days. I felt very happy. I enjoyed teaching them and they also liked to study with me.

I have been thinking about English education in my home country. Most people cannot speak English fluently, although English lessons are given in every school. I want to know why and I have a desire to solve this problem. I observe people in other countries which they do not speak English as a mother tongue, The Netherlands for example, I come up with many questions; why most people are able to speak English, how do they learn? What is wrong with our own education system? How to improve the teaching techniques? Etc. I have a passion to learn and to help people in my country.

If I am admitted to study in your school, I will do my best to learn any skills in order to become a fluent English user and an effective English teacher. After I have already graduated, I will return to my homeland to develop the academic standard.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

(my name)

Elephunk_success · Answer

Hello,

Could someone please check my motivation letter? I need to finish it before May 12th. I would really appreciate every suggestion.

Greetings,

Elephunk_success

Elephunk_success · Answer

Hello Guys,

I've rewrited the letter myself. Hope anyone can check it.

Thank you!

Dear Ms (name),

I am writing to apply for the bachelor of (course) in the academic year 2006/2007. I would like to be considered for entry into the foundation year of the programme.

At the moment, I am studying (course) at (university) in (city). I have been facing a lot of problems. One of those problems is being under too much pressure during some experiments that were done during this course, also the content of this course is too difficult for me. After a lot of thought I have come to the conclusion that this kind of education and the eventual profession to which this education trains me does not suit me. I would prefer to study English language instead of science.

In February of this year, I started looking for other schools which provide language courses. Then I found the course that is being given at your school. I was very enthusiastic about it. As you know, I have made contact with you many times. When I went to the open day, I was impressed by your school and the teacher who I talked to that day was very kind. This is however not the most important reason. I think that this is the right study for me because of my previous experiences. Although, I studied science programme when I was in the secondary school, I often participated in English activities, I also chose English as my elective subject. I like to study English because I think it is important as the primary international language in today's world. At my high school there were two Canadian teachers. This made for a great opportunity to learn English from the native speakers. After I finished the secondary school, I worked as a voluntary teacher in my old school. I taught English to the upper secondary students for fifteen days. It made me very happy and also very satisfied. I enjoyed teaching Englsih very much and the students also liked to be taught English by me.

I have been thinking about studying in English in my home country. Although English lessons are given in every school, most people still have problems speaking English fluently. I want to find out why and I have a desire to try and work on this problem. I have also looked at other countries where English is not their first language. The Netherlands for example, I come up with many questions; Why are most people able to speak English at a high level? How do they learn it? What is wrong with our own education system? How can the way English is taught in (country) be improved? And many others. I have a passion to learn and to help people in my country.

If I am admitted to study in your school, I will do my best to learn any skills in order to become a fluent English user and an effective English teacher. After I have graduated, I will return to my homeland to develop the academic standard.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

(my name)

Elephunk_success · Answer

No one reply....<img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/9.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/9.gif' alt='Emotion: crying'/>

please somebody give me a suggestion!!!

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