Ram Gopal Verma , in short Ramu, aged twenty seven, has been ticket collector(conductor) since four years. For the last four years his day to day schedule has virtually being unchanged. He gets up at 5:30 in the morning, for some reason he adores the sight of sun rise. He accredits his sprightly day to fulgent rays of morning sun. He goes off to work by 8 clock. Being a conductor is strenuous and toilsome task. Sometimes he has to squawk at the passengers and sometime he has to succor them. He has to withstand the penetrating cold and torrid heat of Hyderabad. After a outstretched work he comes back to his place, goes of to sleep like a small baby who had been crying all through the day. After all this He does not bewail what he is doing. He doesn't grumble at what he has been doing.
Everyday Ramu,encounters many people of mismatched attitudes, distinctive life styles, diverse occupations. He likes these encounters. It's from them he imbibes knowledge. He comes to know the current affairs, jokes, movie reviews, who's who, and so on. Over the years he has been like a sponge absorbing what he hears. From the last four years, he has made new friends who travel frequently in his route. Ramu has been a genial host for them. Some times even though they forget their wallets Ramu would punch their tickets. They greet him daily, and in turn Ramu punches their tickets. Ramu would have a rambling discussion with them about personal life, work, so on.
Kavitha, working as a stenographer, travels regularly in Ramu's route. She travels with the bus from its starting point to the last stop. She has been doing this for the last 2 years. She is good looking, with long hair stroking her curvaceous derriere while sauntering makes her even more beautiful. Kavitha's father drops her daily at the bus stop where she gets in the bus. She always sits in seat number 13 as though this is reserved for her. Whether it's a rainy day or a freezing one , she never missed the bus.
She has been a special guest of Ramu from the day she started traveling with the bus. Every day the bus departs the starting point sharp at 8:15 am. One day Kavitha for some cause was tardy by half an hour. Ramu has been watching at the road warily as though he has mislaid his soul some where on the way. He has to supplicate Girish (Driver) to hold on for his honoree. He made the bus to wait there until she was there. Ramu and Kavitha did not talk much with each other except for the thanks she told to him on that occasion and few destination places she has to utter while taking the ticket, but Ramu liked her the very first day.
Over the years Ramu's awe for her turned into love. A thought concerning his paragon would make him vivacious as one gets delirious on dope. He envisaged her as the morning sunrise for which he accredits his sprightly day. The sight of her would sparkle a smile in him which can enchant anyone on Earth. The voice of her makes him jitter with ebullience. He waits for the sun to rise while going to bed. He sees the world in her eyes. He spends his days in seventh heaven.
A month after he discovered his love for her, He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to spend sometime with her. He wanted to persiflage her. He wanted to peck her. He wanted to play with her hands. He wanted to lay his head on her laps. He wanted to gaze into her eyes for continuously. He wanted to enunciate his love for her. All he wants is to talk to her. All he wanted was her.
For weeks he has been trying to tell his feeling for her, but the moment he gets a glimpse of her, her tries to cloak his love for her. The fear of losing her makes him shun. Sometimes, because of the fear, he quenches his thirst for her just with a glimpse of his darling. Day to day his love for her is augmenting as if his heart is going to burst because of the weight of her. Sometimes he is excited because of her and sometimes spiritless because of her.
After a long night cogitation, he has inescapably decided to convey his feelings for her. That was a inexhaustible night for him. He has been reckoning on what she is going to reply, how he is going tell her or express his emotion for her. He started thinking a step a head, how to convince his and her parents for their marriage, it hardly matters for him because he can leave everything and anything for her. He was delighted imagining life after marriage. But, the fear of losing her if expressed is always in the back of his head.
The next morning as usual he woke up at 5:30, and was there at the bus stop by 7:30 solicitously waiting for her to express his adoration. He is not bothered about the noisy crowds, he is not distracted by the activities on the streets, he is not disturbed by the sweat bullets due to the sun, he is not cared about anything else except the lane she comes daily. He is looking at the road anticipating that she would turn a bit early. Every minute of waiting for her has been filled with anxiety.
From that day she didn't turn up. He has been unremittingly and unweary waiting for her . Every morning he comes to the bus stop at 7:30 and sits in seat number 13, feeling the warmth of her, waiting to have a glimpse of his angel.
~VK
Top answer
Just want to toss in my 2 cents. Hope you don't mind. The story is a little flat.
— Julielai
Just want to toss in my 2 cents.
Hope you don't mind.
The story is a little flat.
Instead of telling us what he feels, how about showing us?
g.
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Just want to toss in my 2 cents. Hope you don't mind.
The story is a little flat. Instead of telling us what he feels, how about showing us? e.g. telling: He doesn't grumble at what he has been doing. Showing: describe a scene where he puts up with unhappy customers or something.
I'd also elaborate on the last part of the story, about the girl's disappearance.