Please review the Task 2 writing

Hi

Please review my IELTS Task 2 writing.

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages.

Information technology has brought about serious changes in people’s lives at home and workplace. It has also effected significant changes in the way people spend their leisure. I partially agree that the benefits of the information technology outweigh the disadvantages.

Social media platforms and various other one-to-one digital communication applications enable the members of family to be in touch with their relatives living in faraway places. On the other hand, they keep both adults and youngsters in the family almost hooked to them most of their waking hours. Because of this, they hardly convene even to discuss important family matters, let alone to dine together or to share day-to-day things.

Activities of workplace have been drastically affected by the advancements in information technology. Today almost all aspects of work are tracked, monitored and documented by software applications. So, employers are able to monitor employees’ performance as and when they wish—even from remote locations. Communication through emails between various departments of an organization takes places swiftly. This has a remarkable effect on employee’s efficiency. However, since there are very few opportunities for face-to-face interaction, work environment seems to miss human touch which is crucial for boosting employee morale.

While, in the past, people spent their leisure playing outdoor games or pursuing their hobbies, today they play video games, watch their favorite series on the Netflix, or chat with their friends on social media platforms. In the recent times, more and more youth are addicted to video games which result in their suffering from serious mental illnesses.

In conclusion, though information technology has been responsible for certain important positive changes, it has led to a situation where humankind is increasingly connecting with each other virtually and thereby drastically reducing the possibilities for the human touch and face-to-face interactions.