Please review my writing task 2. Thank you.

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any other experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

My essay:

In research, it is argued that the progress and character of people are impacted from their inborn features more than from any other hands-on experience in their life. However, I believe that the influence of experience outweighs the innate characteristics.

Our life experiences play an important role in our advancement in each stage of life. Failures through examinations or projects in work could be motivations for the people to achieve later success which could be considered as a cognitive development. Or working and studying in multinational environment make the people become more sensitive with the language or the culture of foreign colleagues. For example, after failing an interview at an international company, I realized my weakness and then I tried to improve it and make it become my strength.

There are a wide range of emotions people have to experience in their life, which is one of the primary factors to shape their personality. For some people, ups and downs in their own life events often make themselves become stronger to overcome pains and losses. However, others find it difficult to face, which often leads to psychological illness such as depression - an illness that could change their character from an extrovert to an introvert. My best friend was used to be a social girl, for instance, after her mother’s death, she become more withdrawn and spends most of her time alone.

In conclusion, although research emphasizes that human’s personality and development are affected by their innate traits than their life experiences, I believe that lived human experiences have more influences.