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Panhh Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my writing task 2

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult
Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city
How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

? It is true that the more urbanisation grow, the more people migrate from the countrysides to cities, but city dwellers find it difficult to live here. There are a variety of reasons for this, but governments could certainly take measures to address this issue.
In my opinion, life in cities has its drawbacks. Firstly, the population here must to face with the rush hour everyday. They are always gotten stuck in traffic jams and their cars have no where to park. Secondly, the high living costs makes dwellers meeting their basic needs difficultly and it is the reason why homelessness and poverty are common on cities. Finally, if the high levels of pollution such as poor air quality, water polluted are not reduced, people will be suffered from various health problems ( depression, astha attacks or heart disease).
There are three solutions governments can put into practice to tackle issues i mentioned before. The senior leader of state should ban vehicles from city centers in rush hours and ecourage the use of cleaner public transport. In order to promote a green lifestyle, each small community in social could invest money in eco-friendly products or green technology instead of chemicals. Also, governments should create private-public partnerships to provide services such as waste disposal and housing. At the same time, houses or apartments would be built affordable to reduce cost of living.
  

Top answer

Hello panhh, and welcome to the forum. You need to clearly separate your paragraphs (use blank lines). Also, where is your conclusion?

  • Hello panhh, and welcome to the forum.
  • You need to clearly separate your paragraphs (use blank lines).
  • Also, where is your conclusion?
  • The last part of your essay should be a concluding paragraph in which you summarize the main points from the body paragraphs.
  • One more point: try to give examples to convince/persuade the reader.
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2 Answers
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Hello panhh, and welcome to the forum. Emotion: smile

You need to clearly separate your paragraphs (use blank lines).

Also, where

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You wrote less than the minimum word count for Task 2 essays. You will lose points. You need to add a conclusion paragraph.

There are many grammatical errors. You have studied active voice and passive voice, but you consistently mix up these forms. You need to study these forms more carefully.



It is true that the more urbanisation

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