Please review my writing task 2 (1)

Topic:

Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

Nowadays, outdoor recreation is an option that parents choose for their children. Some people argue that these activities are beneficial to children’s development rather than computer games. I completely agree with this due to the reasons that I give below.
There are many bad effects that computer games have on children. First, children whose eyes glued to the screen could have problems with their eyes. In Vietnam, the rate of children wearing glasses due to being short-sighted is rising recently. Second, spending a range of hours facing the laptop display means that students live a completely sedentary lifestyle. Consequently, the prospects that they would prone to metabolic disorder in the future will increase. Last, our child can get addicted to virtual games, and an unwanted scenario may likely to happen. They not only drop schools but also commit a crime such as a burglary.
So many merits that outdoor activities bring have convinced parents to let their children engage in. In terms of physical health, outdoor recreation is an excellent method that improves your body index. It aids in losing weight, strengthening muscle and improving height as well due to a range of activities such as walking, swimming and skiing. To mental health, these activities are effective relaxation. One of many purposes is letting the hair down after stressful study hours. The time when children doing these activities is also the time when they having a connection with their friends, which results in developing the relationship between them. Hence, they are unlikely to prone to mental states like autism and depression at an early age. Moreover, a proof that outdoor activities are worthwhile to children is that many universities consider them as a plus point. The longer the list of activities is, the more applications have highly assessed.
In conclusion, outdoor activities should be fostered as an approach that keeps children away from the toxic effects of computer games.