Please review my writing task 1. Thank you so much.

Question

The line graph compares the amount of fuel produced in a European country over a period of 29 years. It is clear that petroleum was by far the most important power source over the period shown. Natural gas provided the lowest amount of fuel from 1981 to 1997, but it overcame coal to take second place. In 1981, petroleum was the main source of fuel in Europe, generating around 100 million tonnes of oil. Coal produced approximately 80 million tonnes of oil, and natural gas provided minimum fuel this year. For the whole 14-year period, fuel produced by natural gas remained relatively stable. Between 1995 and 2000, fuel production from coal fell to only 45 million tonnes. By contrast, the figure for natural gas had doubled since 1995, to around 85 million tonnes. During the same period, petroleum fuel generation rose dramatically to a peak of 130 million tonnes by 1997, but it plummeted to around 120 million tonnes since 2000.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The first problem of your essay is that it consists of one paragraph. That will result in a very low score for "coherence and cohesion" which is based on effective paragraphing as well as good transitions.

Also, you did not study this graph very carefully. Most of your report was incorrect.

Read my advice for the paragraph structure of Task 1 essays.

1. In the first paragraph you need to give the time range of the graph, and the names of the curves that are on it. Do not report on the data values.

Here is an example for this essay:

The line graph compares the amounts of three different types of fuels, petroleum, coal and natural gas, produced by a certain European country between 1981 and 2000.

2. In the second paragraph, answer the essay instructions: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features ...

Pick out two or three points that you think are most significant. You get extra marks if you combine categories and make comparisons.

3. In the third paragraph, write some details and focus on comparisons.

You did not study this graph very carefully. You did not understand it so most of your report was incorrect. It is not about power sources or fuels generated, used or consumed.

Please rewrite this essay. If you want a sample essay, please ask for one.

The line graph compares the amount of fuel produced in a European country over a period of 29 years. ~~It is clear that~~ (Do not write phrases like this that have no content.) petroleum was by far the most important power source (That is not what is on the graph.) over the period shown. Natural gas provided (wrong word) the lowest amount of fuel from 1981 to 1997, but it overcame coal to take second place. In 1981, petroleum was the main source of fuel in Europe, (Incorrect - it is not a graph of all the countries on the European continent.) generating around 100 million tonnes of oil. Coal produced (Wrong phrase. Coal did not produce oil or anything else.) approximately 80 million tonnes of oil, and natural gas provided minimum fuel this year. (incorrect. .) For the whole 14-year (The whole period is longer than 14 years.) period, fuel produced (wrong expression) by natural gas remained relatively stable. Between 1995 and 2000, fuel production from coal fell to only 45 million tonnes. By contrast, the figure (wrong word) for natural gas had doubled since 1995, to around 85 million tonnes. During the same period, petroleum fuel generation (incorrect expression) rose ~~dramatically~~ to a peak (There are two peaks, not just one.) of 130 million tonnes by 1997, but it plummeted (poor word choice ) to around 120 million tonnes since (wrong word) 2000.

Please review my writing task 1. Thank you so much.

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