Please review my writing task 1.

Question

The three pie charts below show the coffee production and consumption around the world, and also the profit distribution. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The three pie charts give information about the production and consumption of coffee as well as the proportion of profits are distributed around the world.

Overall, the highest production of coffee comes from South Africa, while Europe is by far the most largest consumption of coffee. Notably, the distribution of profits from delivery sector is the greatest proportion of the four categories.

Regarding to the production, approximately a half of coffee produced is recorded in South Africa. The three other countries: Indonesia, Japan and Vietnam are much lower, with percentages ranging from 16% to 22%. By contrast, the vast majority of coffee is consumed in Europe, at 41%, closely followed by America, at 39%. Japan and the world as a whole account for about 20% of the total.

Turning to the profits distribution, more than a half amount of profit of the coffee is distributed from delivery resources, 51%. The figures for retailers and producers are about 24% and 15% respectively, and the lowest profit distribution goes for exporters, at 10%.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The three pie charts give information about (That is vague and non-specific. Exactly what is on these charts? ) the production and consumption of coffee as well as the proportion of profits are distributed around the world.

(That is ungrammatical. You cannot use a main clause that way.

(That is ungrammatical. You cannot use a main clause that way. .)

Here is a paragraph that accurately describes the figure:

The three pie charts give information about the global coffee business. The first pie chart shows the percentage of consumption in four regions: Europe, America, Japan and the remainder of the world. The second pie chart shows the percentage of production, that is, the four countries where coffee is grown: South Africa, Indonesia, Japan and Vietnam. The final pie chart shows the percentage distribution of profits in four categories: Delivery, Retailers, Exporters and Producers.

Overall, the highest production of coffee comes from South Africa, while Europe is by far the most largest consumer ~~consumption~~ (Europe is a continent,. It is not consumption.) of coffee. Notably, the ~~distribution of profits from~~ (That makes no sense.) delivery sector has the greatest share of the profits. ~~is the greatest proportion of the four categories~~. Japan is the only country which is both a producer and a consumer.

Regarding to the production, approximately a half (That is not accurate) of the coffee produced is ~~recorded~~ in from South Africa. The three other countries: Indonesia, Japan and Vietnam have much ~~are~~ much lower shares, with percentages ranging from 16% to 22%. By contrast, the ~~vast~~ majority (wrong word. Majority is over 50%) of coffee is consumed in Europe, at 41%, closely followed by America, at 39%. Japan and the world as a whole account for about 20% of the total.

Turning to the profits distribution, more than a half ~~amount~~ of profit of the coffee ~~is distributed from~~ goes to delivery services ~~resources~~, 51%. The ~~figures~~ profits for retailers and producers are about 24% and 15% respectively, and the ~~lowest profit distribution~~ remainder goes for exporters, at 10%.

Example essay

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure.

The three pie charts give information about the global coffee business. The first pie chart shows the percentage of consumption in Europe, America, Japan and the rest of the world. The second pie chart shows the percentage of production, that is, the countries which grow coffee: South Africa, Indonesia, Japan and Vietnam. The final pie chart shows the percentage distribution of profits in four categories: Delivery, Retailers, Exporters and Producers.

Paragraph 2: Give two or three main features:

Overall, Europe and America are the largest consumers, while the most significant producer is South Africa. And Japan is the only country which has both production and consumption. Delivery is the most profitable sector of the industry.

Paragraph 3: Give some details and comparisons.

In detail, Europe and America make up 80% of the market, at 41% and 39% respectively. Of the remaining 20%, 8% goes to Japan. In terms of growing coffee, South Africa and Indonesia have two-thirds of the global supply, 44% and 22% respectively. The rest is about equally divided between Japan and Vietnam. Three-quarters of the profits go to Delivery (51%) and Retail (24%) businesses. Those that produce and export the coffee get much less, a quarter.

Please review my writing task 1.

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