Please review my writing task 1

Child hood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. Schools have the responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Obesity among children in Australia has become a menace. Some people think that the schools should be responsible for the supervising what the children eat as well as their exercise output. This essay will discuss why I completely disagree with this proposition in details.

The main reason why Australian schools should not monitor their students' food intake and exercise output is because it is not their job;It is the job of the parents. Although the school can educate them on the value of good nutrition and exercise, it is still primarily the duty of the parents to watch what their children eat and involve them in regular exercises. It could be invasive if a teacher asks his students what they have as breakfast everyday and how much they have been exercising.In short,parents should be responsible for raising their children healthily.

The secondary reason why schools should not meddle into the students diet and exercise regimen is that it may have a negative psychological effect on the students. Although teachers are role models to their students, it is not their duty to supervise their health. For example,if a student is singled out of the class for being overweight, this could lead to isolation. Therefore,even if a child is obese ,reference should not be made to him or her for any reason. For this reason,it is the primary function of the parents.

This essay discussed why schools should not be part of the children's prevention or treatment of obesity because it is not their duty and it could lead to mental problems in the children.