Please review my writing task 1 -12

Question

The maps show art gallery in Australia in 1950 and now.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The maps illustrate some changes to the art gallery in Australia in 1950 and today.Overall, the development of art gallery in Australia have experienced considerable changes during the period shown. The main developments are are the expansion of some facilities and the disappearance of the courtyard.In 1950, the sculpture section was located in the middle of the gallery and  opposite to  the courtyard.  On the right hand side, there were 3 art sections, divided into 3 categories : Early European Art, Middle European Art and Australia Art. On the left hand side, there were 3 rooms at the same size including Cafe, Temporary Exhibition and Bookshop.Currently, the courtyard in the north of the building is totally destroyed and separated three different areas: children art school, Australian Aboriginal Art and Australian Art at the same size. And to its left, cafe section is reduced a haft and a toilet is added. To its right, the space for Australian Art is transfered to the former courtyard and Asian Art is displayed. The rest of  two areas and the entrance  also remain unchanged.

Lê Thị Thanh Trúc · Accepted Answer

To be honest, I feel dissatisfied with this writing because i don't have much experience relating to structure sentences about maps. So I hope that you can evaluate my writing and give an example.

Thanks

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The maps illustrate some (Not just some, but all!) changes to the (an) art gallery in Australia that were made between 1950 and today.

That is not a good sentence. You said that there were some changes in 1950 and some more changes today. That is not correct.

Overall, the development of art gallery in Australia have experienced (The development did not have the changes! The art gallery had the changes. ) considerable changes during the period shown. (A period is not shown. That is an expression for a line graph or time-series bar chart where changes over a period of time are given.) The main developments are are the expansion of some facilities (be more specific) and the disappearance of the courtyard. (The courtyard did not disappear. It was converted into exhibition space.)

In 1950, the sculpture section was located in the middle of the gallery ~~and opposite to the courtyard~~. To its right ~~On the right hand side~~, there were 3 (Write out small numbers that are not data values.) three exhibition spaces for ~~art sections, divided into 3 categories :~~ Early European Art, Middle European Art and Australia Art. ~~On the left hand side~~, To its left, there were 3 three rooms at of the same size including a Cafe, Temporary Exhibition space and a Bookshop.

~~Currently,~~ Between 1950 and the present day, the courtyard in the north of the building ~~is totally destroyed and~~ (Space cannot be destroyed. Only structures and physical objects can be destroyed.) was divided into ~~separated~~ three different areas with the same size: an ~~children~~ art school for children, an Australian Aboriginal Art gallery and a room for Australian Art ~~at the same size~~. ~~And to its left~~, The cafe section was is reduced to half its original size ~~a haft~~ and a toilet is added. ~~To its right,~~ the space for Australian Art was moved is ~~transfered~~ to the former courtyard and Asian Art is displayed in that space. The ~~rest of~~ other two areas and the entrance also remain unchanged.

Please review my writing task 1 -12

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