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Cheryl03 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my writing

My topic: Give response to the following questions.
1. Do you think flying is safer today than it used to be?
2. What kind of security you have experienced at airports?
3. Do you feel safe when you fly, or are you a nervous flyer?

My essay:

Nowadays, there are thousands of flights around the world everyday. Many people choose to move by plane because it is very convenient for business. Besides saving money and time, it is safer than other transportation. Although the plane accidents sometimes occurs, the experts always research problems and improve techniques, then they learn from experience and do not repeat mistakes from the past.

The aircraft crashes in the past have partly due to technical errors, the rest due to human. Specifically, some bad guys take advantages of flights to commit illegal acts, such as terrorism. So, checking security before each flights is also important. I went through security at the airport. Everyone has to take off their hats, coats and shoes and let them with their luggage through the security scanner. Then, they were checked the tickets and identity cards before boarding. Perhaps it will cause inconvenience for some people, but it is really necessary for our safety.

I felt a little nervous whenever I took a plane, not because I thought it was unsafe but because I had plane sickness. I remember two years ago was the first time I flied. I felt fine at first. But when the plane took off, my gut was turned upside down and I thrown up vomit. It was an uncomfortable experience that I wanted to forget. So I have only been on the business plane twice. I hope I will not have to fly for work anymore.

Those are all my thoughts and experiences about the plane. How about you? I am looking forward to hearing interesting stories from you.

  

Top answer

Cheryl03 My topic: Give a response to the following questions. How many words should be in each response? It is not clear what part of your text is linked to each of the three questions.

  • Cheryl03 My topic: Give a response to the following questions.
  • How many words should be in each response?
  • It is not clear what part of your text is linked to each of the three questions.
  • Are you supposed to write one essay covering all the points?
  • A good essay topic has just one main question, for example: Many people refuse to take a trip by air because they are afraid.
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3 Answers
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Cheryl03My topic: Give a response to the following questions.

How many words should be in each response?

It is not clear what part of your text is linked to each of the three questions. Are you supposed to write one essay covering all the points?

A good essay topic has just one main question, for example:

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Nowadays, There are thousands of flights taking off and landing in many cities around the world everyday.

(Nowadays and "every day" together is repetitive. Avoid repetition in the same sentence.
"flights around the world" means that the ai

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Cheryl032. What kind of security you have experienced at airports?

2. What kind of security have you experienced at airports? Notice the correct order of words underlined.

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