Please review my TOEIC essay

Topic: Many people enjoy spending time watching and playing sports. Why do you think sports are important to people? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

It is true to say that sports bring numerous benefits to people’s lives. Personally, I strongly believe that watching and playing sports play an important role in improving physical and mental health as well as developing relationships. The following essay will explain in more details.

To start with, there is no doubt about tremendous physical benefits in sports. Playing sports positively effects on people’s health, like getting in shape with strong and firm muscle, reducing the risks of plenty diseases such as obesity, heart attack, etc. Also, watching sports may be motivate and inspire people to get involved in sports and gradually make playing sports their habit. As a result, they will be healthier and stronger. I will take my friend as an example. Previously, she was too overweight to become a model and therefore she decided to participate in sports club. Thanks to playing sports, she has a muscular and fit body which help her have a lot of photography contracts.

In addition, it is proved that watching and playing sports bring plenty of benefits for mental and emotional health. According to a recent research, not only can it help them to calm their worries and anxieties but also boost the quality of sleep. Moreover, participating in sports prevent them from the high level of depression risks and relieve their pressure. As a result, they tend to work and study more effectively and live a happier and longer life with positivity and optimism.

Finally, people develop their relationships by watching and playing sports. The sense of belonging to a sport team or a sport fan club links people who have the same interests and hobbies together. Specifically, playing sports teach people valuable lessons like how to cooperate with their teammates and take pride in being a part of a team. Moreover, being a fan help them to expand social network and add more friends with whom have the same interests.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that sports bring tremendous benefits to our world. It not only help them to increase endurance and flexible but also improve mental health. Furthermore, playing and watching sports is a good way to build more stronger relationships.