Please review my task 2 IELTS writing an what band score is it?

topic:

Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

my writing:

In contemporary society, modern citizens are taught to appreciate and legally preserve their national historical value, including ancient infrastructure. Nevertheless, due to the increasing demand for accommodation and workplace, it is suggested that they should be replaced by houses and offices. As far as I am concerned, conserving classical venues play a pivotal role in our current life and ought to be remained throughout centuries.

It goes without saying that maintaining old buildings is essential because of the advantages it brings to human. The most evident merit is that these legacies make an enormous contribution to countries’ tourism by their unique attractiveness. In more details, each attraction has its own artistic and aesthetic value, which appeals both local and foreign tourists to come and admire all of these national attractions. The Great Wall of China, for example, welcoming a great number of visitors annually, enables this country to earn an enormous income.

Beside the economic upside, history preservation also does wonders for researching and developing purposes. To be more specific, human-beings are likely to discover more experience from their ancestors through old-age towers then apply the achievement into manufacture and construction. Moreover, remaining historical artworks is simply a way to pay homage to the ancient seniors for such creation.

Having analyzed to topic carefully, I hold a firm believe that people should pay attention to protect ancient construction because of the good points it offers.