Please review my task 1! Thank you a lot!

Question

Here is my essay:
The line graph represents the average amount of carbon dioxide emissions per person in 4 countries of United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal over a period of 40 years (1967-2007).
Overall, the average carbon dioxide emissions produced per person in the UK is the highest during the period shown. Also, in Italy and Portugal, the production of CO2 emissions per person increased dramatically, while the average amount in the UK and Sweden decreased constantly.
In early 1967, an English produce nearly 11 metric tonnes and then declined gradually at about 9 metric tonnes for the rest of the period. In the meantime, the average amount of CO2 emissions per person in Sweden increased and reached a peak of above 10 in 1977. Between 1977 and 2007, it showed a downward trend by around 4.
Meanwhile, the average production of CO2 emissions in Portugal and Italy showed a upward trend during the period. In 2007, an Italian and Portuguese produced at nearly 8 and above 7 metric tonnes respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graph ~~represents~~ (Not a natural verb here.) gives / shows / plots / compares the average amount of carbon dioxide emissions per person in 4 four countries, of United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal, over a period of 40 years (1967-2007).
Overall, the average carbon dioxide emissions produced per person in the UK is ~~the highest~~ always higher than the other three. ~~during the period shown.~~ Also, in Italy and Portugal, ~~the production of CO2 emissions per person~~ they increased dramatically, while ~~the average amount~~ in the UK and Sweden, they decreased ~~constantly~~. (wrong adverb. That is not true for Sweden.)

In ~~early~~ 1967, an English produce (wrong English) nearly 11 metric tonnes and then declined gradually at (wrong preposition) to about 9 metric tonnes ~~for the rest~~ by the end of the period. In the meantime, ~~the average amount of CO2 emissions per person~~ in Sweden it increased and reached a peak of above 10 (14 is above 10, and so is 24. You need an adverb. Missing units.) in 1977. Between 1977 and 2007, it showed a downward trend by around 4. (missing units) ~~Meanwhile,~~ ~~the average production of CO2 emissions~~ in Portugal and Italy it showed a upward trend during the period. In 2007, an Italian and Portuguese produced (wrong English) at nearly 8 and above 7 (12 is above 7 and so is 9. Use an adverb.) metric tonnes respectively.

There is a lot of unnecessary repetition.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay

The line graph compares the average number of metric tonnes (MT) of carbon dioxide released annually per person in four European countries (The UK, Sweden, Italy and Portugal) over a 40-year period, 1967 to 2007.

During the first thirty years, two countries (Portugal and Italy) showed an increase, and the other two (The UK and Sweden) had a decrease. After 1997, emissions they were basically flat in Italy and Portugal, but the declines in the UK and Sweden continued.

In 1967, the UK had the highest value, at about 10.8 MT, followed by Sweden (8.5), Italy (4.1) and Portugal (1.3). This order did not change, except for Sweden. In 2007, the UK still was leading at 8.7 MT, followed by Italy (7.8), Portugal and Sweden (5.5). Emissions were level (about 10.8 MT) in the UK for the first ten years followed by a steady decline (about 0.6 MT per year) from 1977 to 2007. In contrast, Sweden, Italy and Portugal all had significant increases during the first decade. But, over 1977-1987, Sweden decreased its emissions by over 30% (10.2 to 7.1 MT), and that downward trend persisted from 1987 to 2007. Portugal had the largest percentage increase (over 350%), and it nearly doubled in Italy.

Piya 7878 · Answer

The provided line graph compares the liberation of carbon dioxide by people of four different countries in forty years.

Overall, two countries, Italy and Portugal demonstrates gradual incline of all the decade in aspect to emission of carbon dioxide. However, Swedish liberate carbon dioxide is rose up to the pick till 1977 and dramatically fall down. In contrast , british illustrates down ratio in all decades rather had top ratio all time then other countries.

To commence with, people of United Kingdom emited carbon dioxide in higher rate from1967 to 2007 instead it downwards constantly all decades, had top rate of emmision all time. Moreover, emission carbon dioxide by swedish illustrates high pace rose up till 1977 then surprisingly declined with crossing over by Italian at 1987. Additionally, the Italian and Portuguese liberated carbon dioxide in parallel manner and provide incline consequences of all decades.

Please review my task 1! Thank you a lot!

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