Please review my task 1 IETLS esasay

T
opic : The pie charts shows the first palce Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a typical week.

My essay :

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of five major areas (TV, Newspaper, Radio, Internet, Friends, and Family) where people in Germany and Nigeria go first to get their news in a particular week.

Overall, the priorities of the two countries differ. In Germany, three of the five fields had lower proportions, with the exceptions being Newspaper and Television. While Newspaper is the most popular way for Germans to get their news, TV is the top priority in Nigeria.

One of the most prominent features of this data is that the Germans use newspapers to approach the news the most with 45%. In contrast, the one that in Nigeria is the third-lowest, at only 13%. Moreover, whereas in Germany less than a third of TV is used to get social information, the figure in Nigeria is two-thirds, about 63%.

In addition, one significant difference between Nigeria and Germany is that over twice as many people make use of Radio as a place to gain news, compared with the latter. The proportions are 22% and 10% respectively. Similarly, the Internet is preferred by ten times more to access new information in Germany than in Nigeria.