Please review my task 1 IETLS esasay

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Topic : The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011.

My essay : https://docs.google.com/document/d/14Ssu6-SmW9K7wMXC4GT3TcEWI-GJKj6AqByTiJNYQC0/edit

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Emma Nai · Answer

Topic : The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011.

My essay :

The bar charts illustrates the proportions of labor force in five significant industries between 1841 and 2011 in United Kingdom. Overall, UK’s economy witnessed a fluctuation over a period. On the 1840s, the Manufacturing category had the highest number of workers and after 170 years, it was changed that there was a huge number of UK’s citizen work for Services whereas Energy and Water categories was the least in both two years.

As can be seen from the charts, what stands out is that the percentage of workforce for manufacturing accounted for 36% in 1841 and was the foremost one. Following by services and agriculture with 33% and 22%. However, after a 170 - year period, the proportion of UK forces in the services industry increased dramatically and peaked at 81% in 2011. In addition, it is striking that the figure for Energy and Water was only 1% of workers in both two years. Furthermore, 4 other industries simultaneously fell to under 10% in 2011.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay (165 words)

The bar chart compares the distribution of the UK workforce over five industries in 1841 and 2011. These are Services, Construction, Manufacturing, Agriculture (including fishing), and Energy.

Overall, the workforce was much more concentrated in 2011 compared to 1841. Of the five industries, three had a lower share, the exceptions being Services and Construction. Manufacturing lost its first-place position in 1841 to Services.

In detail, eight out of every ten workers in 2011 were in the Services sector. This sector dominated all the other four; the maximum being Manufacturing at 9%. In contrast, three sectors accounted for 96% of the workers in 1841 in this order: Manufacturing (36%), Services (33%) and Agriculture (27%). In both years, Construction had less than 8% and Energy 3% or less. The largest declines were in Manufacturing and Agriculture. In the former, the percentage went down by 75% from 36 to 9%. In the latter, it went down by a factor of 11, from 22 to 1%.

Please review my task 1 IETLS esasay

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