0
Anonymous Posted 9 years ago

Please review my poem

This dirty little secret
is eating me alive.
It grips my bones
And sucks the marrow
That wiggles and screams inside.
It takes my muscles
And hardens them
Till there frozen
Like the vast frozen tundra
That I call my mind.
This horrible secret
Reaches down
And holds the veins in my body
Pulling, tearing, and shredding them apart
Till I'm nothing but a mass of black poisonous blood.
This disgusting secret
Turns my skin
Purple, black, and blue.
Lines run under my skin.
Black,
Like that
Dirty
Little
Secret.

  

Top answer

Interesting little verse. I have offered some suggestions for vocabulary and layout: This dirty little secret is eating me alive. It grips my bones And sucks the marrow That wriggles and screams inside.

  • Interesting little verse.
  • I have offered some suggestions for vocabulary and layout: This dirty little secret is eating me alive.
  • It grips my bones And sucks the marrow That wriggles and screams inside.
  • It seizes my muscles And hardens them Till their frozen Like the tundra That I call my mind.
  • This horrible secret Reaches down And grabs my veins, Pulling, teari ng, shredding them Till I'm nothing but poisonous black blood.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

1 Answers
0

Interesting little verse. I have offered some suggestions for vocabulary and layout:


This dirty little secret
is eating me alive.
It grips my bones
And sucks the marrow
That wriggles and screams inside.
It seizes my muscles
And hardens them

Related Questions