please review my motivation letter

Dear Sirs/Madams,
I am Jawad Niazi from Afghanistan and I would like to apply for the DAAD scholarship for Graduates of All Disciplines. It would be my chance to study in a respected university in the land of ideas. I am graduated from Payam-E Noor University in Iran and received my Bachelor degree in Information Technology Engineering in 2013. During my studies at university I had to work to finance myself and support my family and, therefore, my study lasted for 6 years.

After I finished my studies I came to Afghanistan and since I have been working in IT industry. In 2015 I joined International Organization for Migration (IOM), where I have worked with many experts from other nationalities and I have been gaining experience in analyzing, designing and developing software. This experience has given me a strong capability in understanding and analyzing information technologies, especially Data-Management and Software Engineering.

I am applying for this program because it enriches my knowledge in analyzing massive and complex data sets, design statistical models and helps me to be prepared for facing and handling problems in these areas. This master program contains modules in use of data analysis tools, understanding of data economics, storage and mining of massive datasets, probabilistic modelling, analyzing networks, forecasting and simulation as well as modules in Management Studies which makes it completely relevant to my future goals.

I have chosen Germany to continue my education there because of the high education quality. Its education quality is among the top three countries in the world, especially in field of engineering and sciences it could be the best in the world. Also, the relationship between universities and industries in Germany is a unique opportunity for students to become master in what they have learned and put their knowledge into practice while they are studying or just after graduation.
I would like to be active in development of electronic government and more precisely the web-based telecommunication technologies to enhance on the efficiency and the effectiveness of service delivery in public sector in Afghanistan. E-government helps to simplify processes and makes government information more easily accessible for public sector agencies and citizens. My desired part is distance learning and I believe it is more needed in my country because it is hard for students to access schools in many regions due to being a mountainous country. I would be able to follow my plans which is developing the web-based training and set plans for promoting and giving access to everyone in remote areas to provide education on web-based training systems like www.edx.org but with different functions.

I know myself as a hardworking, creative, patient and determined individual with the great enthusiasm in learning, studying and discovering new aspects of computer science. I am quite confident that my background and my personality makes me a good applicant for this very high competitive program that demands highly motivated and qualified students.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Best Regards
Jawad Niazi