0
Guest Posted 21 years ago
Letter Writing
Please review my letter of motivation
I have written this letter as a part of the application. Only request was to write why I want to go to the particular school.
University of New York in Prague
Eva Karlíková
Admissions Coordinators for Undergraduate Programs
Dear Madam:
I am writing to apply for the Bachelor’s Program in Business Administration at the University of New York in Prague.
While researching schools I found that your university offers me a great opportunity to get an education in business and still continue to improve my use of the English language. I have studied in the United States for 2 years; however, I have decided that it would be more cost effective to return to complete my education in the Czech Republic. I would like to finish my bachelor's degree and then continue on and complete my master’s degree in business administration. My future goal is to work my way up through a company and earn a good management position.
I feel that I have the academic qualities and people skills necessary to earn a degree in business administration. I would like to be a leader, not a follower, at whichever company I work for. I have played ice hockey for many years and I feel that it has helped to foster these qualities. Hockey has helped me to learn the commitment necessary for success as an individual and how to work as a team member. As a goalie I knew my teammates were relying on me to help win a game as much as I relied on them. I think the business world is the same way. Everybody works as a team and must count on one another to work towards success.
I hope you will consider me for acceptance to your university. It would be a great experience to attend this school and continue my education here; I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Jiri Frkal
University of New York in Prague
Eva Karlíková
Admissions Coordinators for Undergraduate Programs
Dear Madam:
I am writing to apply for the Bachelor’s Program in Business Administration at the University of New York in Prague.
While researching schools I found that your university offers me a great opportunity to get an education in business and still continue to improve my use of the English language. I have studied in the United States for 2 years; however, I have decided that it would be more cost effective to return to complete my education in the Czech Republic. I would like to finish my bachelor's degree and then continue on and complete my master’s degree in business administration. My future goal is to work my way up through a company and earn a good management position.
I feel that I have the academic qualities and people skills necessary to earn a degree in business administration. I would like to be a leader, not a follower, at whichever company I work for. I have played ice hockey for many years and I feel that it has helped to foster these qualities. Hockey has helped me to learn the commitment necessary for success as an individual and how to work as a team member. As a goalie I knew my teammates were relying on me to help win a game as much as I relied on them. I think the business world is the same way. Everybody works as a team and must count on one another to work towards success.
I hope you will consider me for acceptance to your university. It would be a great experience to attend this school and continue my education here; I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Jiri Frkal
Top answer
Jiri, Your written English is very good. However, your letter leaves a bit to be desired because it is too short and doesn't describe you very well. Look at the following members' posts: -JayT -Nadine -Soufiane -Julietta That will give you some better ideas.
- Jiri, Your written English is very good.
- However, your letter leaves a bit to be desired because it is too short and doesn't describe you very well.
- Look at the following members' posts: -JayT -Nadine -Soufiane -Julietta That will give you some better ideas.
- Please note that in order for us to provide assistance, you will have to post your letter in the forum (as you have done) and let it remain as an example for others.
- Your letter will remain visible through Internet search engines.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
2 Answers
0
Jiri,
Your written English is very good. However, your letter leaves a bit to be desired because it is too short and doesn't describe you very well.
Look at the following members' posts:
-JayT
-Nadine
-Soufiane
-Julietta
That will give you some better ideas.
Please note that in order for us to provide assistance, you will have to p
Your written English is very good. However, your letter leaves a bit to be desired because it is too short and doesn't describe you very well.
Look at the following members' posts:
-JayT
-Nadine
-Soufiane
-Julietta
That will give you some better ideas.
Please note that in order for us to provide assistance, you will have to p
00
Hello,
i have been checking this website for several times because i am looking for information of how to improve my letter of motivation and found out that posts of
-JayT
-Nadine
-Soufiane
-Julietta
are often mentioned as the good examples. But i have not been successful in finding them. Could anyone please help me with it?
Thank you!
i have been checking this website for several times because i am looking for information of how to improve my letter of motivation and found out that posts of
-JayT
-Nadine
-Soufiane
-Julietta
are often mentioned as the good examples. But i have not been successful in finding them. Could anyone please help me with it?
Thank you!
0
Related Questions