Please review my IELTS WRITNG TASK 1

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Hello there, my name is Vivian and I am current a student. I have been studying IELTS by myself not for so long and I will take the test in November. This is my practice in Writing task 1 from IELTS Cambrigde 15. I hope you can take some time to review my text and I will be very happy. Thank you very much for your help!

The figure illustrates the steps involved in instant noodles production.

In order to make instant noodles, flour, which is raw ingredient, is processed in six stages before being cooked and dried. This product is then mixed with two other materials and after being packaged, it is sold.

The first stage of the process involves taking flour from the storage silos. The flour, which is put in the mixer where it is combined with water and oil then passes onto rollers before being dough sheets. After that, these dough sheets are cut into dough strips and are ready for being noodles discs.

At the sixth stage of the process, noodles discs are cooked with oil and dried. Next, dried discs are packaged in cups where they are combined with two other materials, vegetables and spices. Finally, the finished products are labeled and sealed, ultimately producing instant noodles.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

Khánh VânHello there, my name is Vivian and I am currently a student.

You need an adverb there.

Khánh Vân I have been studying IELTS by myself, but not for so long and I will take the test in November.

Most experts advise starting your IELTS practice six months before your exam is scheduled for the best results.

What is your goal?

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The ~~figure~~ process flow diagram illustrates (Use the precise name of the figure. There is a rather complete list of the various types for Task 1 in my advice.) the steps involved in instant noodles production.

(You need a "main features" paragraph. It must be distinct from the "details" paragraph. Read my advice about the be

(You need a "main features" paragraph. It must be distinct from the "details" paragraph. Read my advice about the best outline for Task 1 essays.)

In order to make instant noodles, flour, which is primary ~~raw~~ ingredient, (There are other raw ingredients. ) is processed in six ~~stages~~ steps (In the first paragraph, you mentions "steps". Be consistent.) before being cooked and dried. This product is then mixed with two other ingredients ~~materials~~ (Generally, materials are inedible substances like sand, gravel, and chemicals). and after being packaged, it is sold.

The first ~~stage~~ step of the process involves taking flour from the storage silos. The flour, which is put in a ~~the~~ mixer where it is combined with water and oil, (The sentence is not punctuated correctly. It is not a good description.) then passes onto rollers before being dough sheets. (That does not make sense.) After that, these dough sheets are cut into dough strips and are ready for being noodles discs.

At the sixth step ~~stage~~ of the process, (The reader is confused. Where are steps 2, 3, 4 and 5? There is little cohesion since you jumped from step 1 to step 6.) the noodles discs are cooked with oil and dried. Next, dried discs are packaged in cups where they are combined with ~~two other materials,~~ vegetables and spices. Finally, the finished products are labeled and sealed, ultimately (wrong word. "Ultimately" means that the stuff must age for a long period of time (like cheese, wine or whiskey) before it is ready to use. I think that instant noodles can be eaten as soon as they are manufactured.) producing instant noodles.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

The flow diagram illustrates the process of making instant noodles in an automated assembly-line factory.

Instant noodles are cups of dry ingredients, which, with water added, make a quick lunch. The manufacturing process is a continuous one consisting of eight steps, six of which are involved in making the dehydrated noodles from flour, water and oil. It ends with the product ready to be delivered to markets. The diagram does not show the preparation of the minor ingredients, vegetables and spices.

In detail, the factory is supplied with flour, delivered by truck to storage silos. The noodles are started by transferring the flour from the silos and mixing the flour with water and oil to form dough. In steps 3-4, the dough is flattened into thin sheets through rollers, and then sliced into long, narrow strips. These strips are again sliced and squeezed into small discs, which, in step 6, are deep fried in an oil bath and dried. Steps 7 and 8 complete the process. The dried noodles are combined with dehydrated vegetables and spices into cups, which are labeled and sealed.

Please review my IELTS WRITNG TASK 1

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