Please review my Ielts writing task 2. Thanks a lot

Question

Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?In this day and age, communication is a topic of interest. Many individuals contend that verbal communication is superior to written one. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly disagree with the given viewpoint as I assert that both sorts play an equal role. On the one hand, oral interaction is of tremendous importance in daily life. First and foremost, it enables people to use their body language as well as express emotions in the interest of imparting ideas effectively. To cite an example, a spokesman who possesses eye contact and appealing gestures may be likely to draw the public’s attention and thereby successfully convey his or her presentation. Secondly, verbal communication makes a great contribution to helping attain better understanding. To illustrate, on a date, it seems to be better to have a face-to-face conversation rather than texting on the grounds that icons or stickers are a poor substitute for a smile and a hug. On the other hand, written communication also plays a paramount role in certain situations. When it comes to such formal circumstances as in a criminal court, there is a need to show valid evidence like documents rather than valueless and untrustworthy speech. Or in a firm commitment, it is essential to have a written contract with a view to keeping rules and promises of the two parties. Besides, in terms of history, written relics may remain longer and pass down for scores of generations, otherwise they will easily vanish without a trace by word of mouth. In conclusion, particular situations need taking into consideration when deciding which type of communication is more effective. Hence, I diametrically disagree with the given point of view.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

~~In this day and age, communication is a topic of interest~~. (That does not make any sense. It is too general and not related to the task.)

There is a big difference between being powerful and being important or useful. Most essay writers make this mistake and write about "importance" and ignore "power." You have fallen into this subtle trap. Some of your ideas hint at "powerful" and are on track, but mostly, it is not quite on the right track.

Many individuals contend that verbal communication is superior to writing ~~written one~~. ~~From my perspective~~, ("disagree" is a perspective. The phrase is redundant.) I wholeheartedly disagree with the given viewpoint as I assert that both are equally powerful. ~~sorts~~ ~~play an equal role.~~

~~On the one hand~~, (This is not a "discuss both views" essay type. You are supporting ONE thesis, not two sides ) Oral interaction is of tremendous importance in daily life. First and foremost, it enables people to use their body language as well as express emotions in the interest of imparting ideas effectively. To cite an example, a spokesman who ~~possesses~~ (wrong word) employs eye contact and appealing gestures may be likely to draw the public’s attention and thereby successfully convey ~~his or her~~ their ideas, and convince them to stand with them. ~~presentation~~. Secondly, verbal communication makes a great contribution to helping attain better understanding. To illustrate this, ~~on a date~~, (that does not make sense.) it seems to be better to have a face-to-face conversation with a dear friend or relative rather than texting on the grounds that icons or stickers are a poor substitute for a smile and a hug.

~~On the other hand~~, written communication also plays a paramount role in certain situations. When it comes to such formal circumstances as in a criminal court, there is a need to show valid evidence like documents rather than ~~valueless and~~ untrustworthy speech (This is called "hearsay" and is not admissible in American courts.). Or in a firm commitment, it is essential to have a written contract (Contracts are very important; however, most are mundane boilerplate and not really powerful. Now a nation's constitution which grants and guarantees the rights of citizens, that is powerful. ) with a view to keeping rules and promises of the two parties. Besides, in terms of history, written text ~~relics~~ may remain longer and pass down for scores of generations, otherwise they will easily vanish without a trace by word of mouth. (This is a good hint at being powerful. You are closer to the core of the task.)

In conclusion, particular situations need taking into consideration when deciding which type of communication is more effective. Hence, I ~~diametrically~~ disagree with the given point of view.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

I have seen this task before, and wrote an essay comparing the power of speech with the power of the written word. This essay is far too long for IELTS, but it will show you the difference between "powerful" and "important."

Hà YênSpoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The two m

Hà YênSpoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The two major forms of human communication are speech and writing. Both can be used to influence others to accomplish a task, exchange information or to argue a point of view. I agree that in the immediate moment, oral communication can be much more powerful than words on paper; however, from the long-term view of history, the written word has a much more lasting impact, and in that regard, is more powerful. So I disagree with the proposition.

The power of the spoken word is legendary, although only temporary. In 1945, the great leader, Ho Chi Minh, spoke powerfully about the rights of the Vietnamese people to govern themselves. His speeches and determined leadership convinced common men, mostly simple farmers, to give up everything, even their lives, to fight for freedom. Great leaders rely on oral communication to sway public opinion to their cause. All politicians have to win elections by forceful speech; for them it is the only way to be successful. And it is not just the words themselves, but the emotion and passion of the speaker that makes them incredibly effective. They employ the power of the spoken word to change the world around them.

However, the written word is even more impactful because speech only reaches those few people within earshot of the speaker, but, when written down, it can be read by millions. Even more important, the written word will survive its author. This is exemplified in the holy books of all major religions, since neither the Buddha, nor Confucius, nor Muhammad nor Christ were literate. Their followers heard their teachings and, perhaps many generations later, wrote them down to be preserved. These scriptures are revered by millions, even billions of people today.

So in the moment, a glorious speech with powerful words can instigate major changes, possibly affecting many generations after the leader has passed away. But to inspire millions and even billions of people throughout history, there is nothing that compares with the power and impact of the written word.

Please review my Ielts writing task 2. Thanks a lot

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