Please review my Ielts writing task 2. Thanks a lot

TOPIC: Stress caused by work is becoming a major problem wordwide. What are the reasons for this? How could this problem be tackled?

(Can you please score my essay? Thank you so much)

Working pressure is the principal issue running up against people this century. This essay will first outline some roots of this phenomenon are the heavy workload and poor working conditions, then argue that equal distribution among all the workers and reformation in the workplace are the most viable solutions.

The foremost cause is tremendous workload and tight deadlines. Personnels get stressed out hence making an effort to fulfill all the tasks in a limited time period otherwise they are likely to be dismissed. Moreover, the mental health of employees is getting disturbed since poor working environment such as high levels of noise, minimal movement and lack of personal space. To illustrate, a recent survey about the conditions experienced by the workers of a company showed that they have a tendency to quit their job or unfinish the assignments if the work sites are displeasing.

Despite all of this, there are various methods to combat the stressful life and strike a balance. This can be helped, if the company possessors evenly divided the quantity of assignments and a suitable time frame is given to complete. Besides, the companies ought to organize a short trip yearly to explore some place, which may help to recharge the batterries. In addition, upgrading and redesigning the workplace as well as possible should be prioritized, which might further get staff enjoyment.

In conclusion, living life with stress is a frequently observed phenomenon across many countries these days. This essay discusses that the common factors that have led to this situation are high workload and poor work sites. However, one can deal with them by distributing equally or improving infrastructure.