Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay. Many Gratitude!
So I was writing this IELTS Task 2 essay, and I would be very appreciated if somebody can review it for me.
Topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than complete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Education has always been a source of countless debate, especially on how it should be applied. Many assume that a competitive attitude should be encouraged in children to achieve better result, but this idea faces opposition from others who believe that cooperation should be promoted instead. This essay will explore both opinions, and prove that cooperation is essential in modern education.
The focus on competition is originated from the fact that real life is a constant race. Nowadays, only the best candidates are employed by companies, and only the best of them have potential to prosper on their careers. By growing a sense of competition in children from a young age, people believe that it will improve their determination and lead them through hardship in the future.
Having said that, there are undeniable benefits in teaching children to cooperate with each other. No one can be perfect in every aspect of life - that why it is crucial to know how to live and work with other people, in order to compensate for each other's weakness. Cooperation also encourage children to be friendly and social with their peers, while competition may invoke negative emotional trails like jealousy and envy.
In conclusion, education should concentrate on growing a cooperative mindset in children, so that they can grow up to be valuable members of the society. Just changing our curriculum is not enough - parents and schools must also work together to turn this ambition into reality.
Top answer
n Minh and I would be very appreciative (I would appreciate it) if somebody could / would review it for me. Learn the verb appreciate . I appreciate your help.
- n Minh and I would be very appreciative (I would appreciate it) if somebody could / would review it for me.
- Learn the verb appreciate .
- I appreciate your help.
- (active) I appreciated the help you gave me.
- (active) Your help is appreciated.
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Hi?u Tr?n Minh and I would be very appreciative (I would appreciate it) if somebody could / would review it for me.
Learn the verb appreciate.
I appreciate your help. (active)
I appreciated the help you gave me. (active)
Your help is appreciated.
0You write well. I have bolded some phrases you should correct.
You have some simple errors that you should avoid by checking your work carefully.
Well done!
Topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than complete <<<COMPETE become more useful adu
0Education has always been a source of countless debate, especially on how it should be applied. Many assume that a competitive attitude should be encouraged in children to give them a better chance of success when they grow up. achieve better result, but this idea faces opposition from However,
0This is a good essay. There are only a few minor mistakes.
Topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than complete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Education has always been a source of
0
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