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Yến Nhi 9765 Posted 3 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS WRITING TASK 2 essay?

Hi, this is my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2. I would be grateful if I could get some feedback from teachers here. Thank you so much and have a great day!!!


Topic: DRUG ABUSE

Drug abuse is becoming a problem in our society. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

My essay

Drug abuse is becoming a major problem in our society. There are a number of reasons behind this situation and several solutions can be adopted to improve the situation.

Drug misuse is caused by two major factors. First, some studies have demonstrated that failure in life is the strongest cause of the tendency towards drugs among both female and male groups. It is a fact that most people who fall into a state of failure often experience feelings of desperation and frustration, so they tend to desire to get rid of such emotions as soon as possible. In those circumstances, some people consider drug use as a way to find a sense of sublimation and deal with negative energy. Second, another root cause of drug abuse is curiosity, which is especially common among young people. In fact, some teenagers are often easily seduced and influenced by friends or even bad guys; therefore, to show off, they like to try something new and drugs are no exception.

Drug abuse causes multiple problems for countries and communities. To make the situation better, there are two main remedies. First, all must be educated about the harmful effects of drug misuse as soon as possible because the best way to prevent an addiction to a drug is not to take the drug at all. In fact, unfortunately, many parents wait until after their children are involved with drugs or alcohol to sit down with them and talk. The second approach is that the state should increase police manpower and implement strict laws to stop illegal drug trafficking.

In conclusion, although the problem of drugs may seem impossible to eliminate, there are some measures that can be taken to weaken the hold of drugs on society.

Word count: 290

  

Top answer

Drug abuse is becoming a major problem in our society. (That is very vague. You need to be specific.

  • Drug abuse is becoming a major problem in our society.
  • (That is very vague.
  • You need to be specific.
  • ) There are a number of reasons behind this situation and several solutions can be adopted to improve the situation.
  • Adults get addicted when they are extremely stressed and dissatisfied with their situation.
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1 Answers
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Drug abuse is becoming a major problem in our society. (That is very vague. You need to be specific. Give a brief introduction to your arguments.) There are a number of reasons behind this situation and several solutions can be adopted to improve the situation. Adults get addicted when they are extremely stressed and dissatisfied with their

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