Please review my IELTS Writing task 2 essay

Topic: The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

My essay:

In the digital age, most people in the community prefer utilizing social networking sites, such as Facebook, Zalo or Twitter as a powerful tool for online conversations with others rather than face to face interaction. However, I am of the opinion that the benefits are overshadowed by drawbacks.

First off, the most important advantage of using social media is that it is convenient for people to maintain their relationship and exchange information easily regardless of geographical distance. Online apps are necessary for students studying abroad to keep in touch with families and friends. Thus, their connection will be improved and become more close-knit. Moreover, by virtual conversations, many international companies can go on information exchange with their partners without having physical interaction. Therefore, distance will not be a problem when people have social networks to communicate with others.

However, they should take the disadvantages into account when abusing social media to exchange socially. First, excessive reliance on technological apps discourages physical communication. The more frequently they chat via texting or video, the more lonely they feel. Thus, after a long time, they may start to lose sense of community and have antisocial human behaviour with others, which can increase a high risk of depression and self-isolation. Second, the overuse of social media to keep in touch with others directly affects their social skills like body language expressions and eye contacts. For instance, teens have such a habit of getting emoticons or stickers to express their emotions when texting that they hardly understand their counterparts like in face to face interaction.

In conclusion, social networks perform practical convenience to interact with people. However, it seems to me that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages if we don’t know how to use them effectively.

291 words

Thank you for your help in reviewing my essay.