Please review my IELTS writing task 2

In some countries many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

There is a growing tendency among young people to take a gap year to work or travel after finishing high school. While this brings several advantages, its disadvantages should not be underestimated.

On the one hand, taking a year off before entering university helps them gain many benefits. First, young people can gain experience in life. By taking a gap year, they can have time to enter the labor market and gain hands-on experience, which is advantageous for their future career. For instance, working as a cashier helps them sharpen their calculating skills and learn how to professionally deal with different problems from costumers. Therefore, they can gain some essential soft skills that will be beneficial when they apply for other jobs. Second, adolescents can acquire practical knowledge. After taking a break year, they can spend time traveling to other places in their country or even go abroad. They can meet new people from different culture, which will broaden their horizons and gain practical knowledge that is not mentioned in books.

On the other hand, there are several disadvantages of taking a gap year. This is because it can be expensive. If they take a year off to travel to different places, it requires a large amount of money. This puts a burden on their parents and even on themselves to make money for traveling. Another reason is that young individuals’ academic performance can be affected. After finishing high school, in Vietnam, for example, there is a national high school examination for students to be admitted to university. It is undoubted that taking a year off in addition to irregular studying or revising may make they soon forget about what they have studies. Therefore, in the following year, when they have to sit for the national exam, they may fail to receive satisfactory results.

In conclusion, while this trend brings many benefits, its drawbacks should not be overlooked. Young people should take the positive and negative aspects into account in order to have a right choice whether they should take a gap year or not.