Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic:

Famous sportsmen often earn a lot more money than people in other professions. Although sport is important in our lives, everyone should be equal and such big incomes of sport professionals are unjustified.

Do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

Sports has gained more and more attention among people from all over the world in recent years. Hence, sport professionals are paid much higher compared to people in other professions. Some believe this has boosted inequality and that a balance is needed. Personally, I am opposed to such a view and believe that the high wages of sport professionals are reasonable.

First, people who reach the highest levels in any sport must be extremely talented. Only a small number of people participating in the sports profession can advance further in their career. This is because they have to be both physically and mentally fit in order to withstand the pressure and difficulty of playing professionally . Pelé, for example, came from a poor environment in Africa but he struggled to maintain his physical health and improve his soccer skills. As a result, he earned a large amount of money due to his many unbreakable records. This means that famous sportsmen make a great effort to improve themselves so their earnings are logical.

Second, sport professionals contribute greatly to their nations’ pride and popularity. If a country’s sports team wins an international competition then its citizens can pride themselves on being a part of the community. For instance, the FIFA World Cup , a famous international football competition that happens every four years, is a dream of many sportsmen all over the world. Therefore, being the champion of this competition will not only make the competitors proud but also their country’s inhabitants. Moreover, these people attract millions of viewers, including famous politicians and donors. As a result, this brings about good chances for their countries’ economy and popularity. In other words, famous sportsmen bring lots of benefits to their countries.

In conclusion, popular sport professionals train hard and benefit their countries in many ways. Hence, I appreciate every contribution done by professionals and believe that they deserve their large salaries.