Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic:

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Children having obesity and leading an unhealthy lifestyle are becoming a typical sight in many countries. This raises the question of whether governments should be held responsible for solving this matter. While this statement is true to some extent, I also believe that parents should take some responsibility.

The government should take measures to curb this problem. States have the power and resources to enact laws or policies that can promote a healthier lifestyle and reduce obesity rates. Consequently, children are compelled to follow these policies and have a healthy diet. For instance, governments should introduced policies to check school canteen qualities each year. This can not only ensure a cleaned eating environment but also curb the obesity rates among children.

The responsibility to tackle overweight problems should fall on parents. After all, parents are the ones that provides their child with sufficient nutrients. Therefore, an obese child is often the result of their parents’ inappropriate choice of food. Moreover, parents also have an impact on their child’s physical activities. Hence, they should make effort to convince children to do more outdoor activities. For example, parents should force a limit on the amount of time juveniles get to spend on the Internet. In this way, children will come outside to do physical activities which eventually reduces the risks of being overweight.

To conclude, while the government should take responsibility in solving the problem of childhood obesity given their power, I would assert parents also share this burden as well in terms of dietary and exercise habits