Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic:

Marketing and promotion is the key to a successful business. To what extent do you agree?

My essay:

Businesses are striving fast due to the rapid globalization and industrialization. With that, marketing and promotion is believed to be crucial if a business wants to achieve success. Personally, I completely agree with such view.

Firstly, introducing new items through advertising helps raising awareness of the public to these products. By bringing consumers attention to such products, interest rates and revenues of businesses can sharply rise as there are a high quantity of products selling out. As a consequence, these incomes will smooth the way for companies to further progress. For example, immensely renowned brands such as Gucci or Dior constantly inviting well-known stars to commerce for their cosmetics and clothes. Consumers are then enticed to buying these products which eventually be a huge source of profit for the two brands.

Secondly, constant advancement is essential so as to meet the different demands of the consumption market. In other words, no matter how reasonable the price of an item is, if there are no development, that item will fail to meet the needs of the public. Due to this lack of popularity, businesses can hardly float on the stock exchange. For instance, companies like Apple and Samsung constantly advanced their technological devices according to the consumers’ demands. Ultimately, these companies will attract prospective buyers and investors which are the key the success.

To sum up, commercial and advancement are central to the prosperity of any business. By capturing consumers’ notice and demands, companies will rapidly thrive in the world of business.