Please review my IELTS writing task 2
Topic: Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
My essay:
Some people argue that history is most important than other school subjects. I believe that the priority should be given to the subjects like Science and Technology.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that history complies real life stories which further motivate many people, hence we can not ignore the importance of knowing about the past to create better future. History has been widely taught in school for well over a century now; however, there have still been repeated wars, there is still poverty, inequality, prejudice, violence, and an inability to work together for the common weal. Somehow we have failed to learn the lessons of history, so there seems to be a flaw in this argument somewhere.
On the other hand, the human's favor toward practical subjects such as Science and Technology is increasing these days. With the job market is more prevailing in engineering, finance, biotechnology, etc..., very few students will end up with careers in history, as historians or professors. As a result, the less demand for the goal of the subjects, the lower educational quality they provide. For example, since the appearance of Covid-19 pandemic, students are more interested in science-based subjects to acquire the knowledge of what the virus is, how virus causes disease and find the better way to kill this dangerous organism. Therefore, this realistic subjects not only attract the highest attention but also build up and foster student's practical skills.
In conclusion, history should not be placed in more crucial role and more time and resources should be devoted to the teaching of subjects related to Science and Technology. This will become ever more meaning as the technology industry continues to dominate the future job market.
Top answer
Some people argue that history is most important than other school subjects. I believe that the priority should be given to the subjects like Science and Technology. On the one hand, it is undeniable that history complies (wrong verb) includes real life stories which can further motivate many peop le, (comma splice error) hence and we can not ignore the importance of knowing about the past to create a better future.
- Some people argue that history is most important than other school subjects.
- I believe that the priority should be given to the subjects like Science and Technology.
- On the one hand, it is undeniable that history complies (wrong verb) includes real life stories which can further motivate many peop le, (comma splice error) hence and we can not ignore the importance of knowing about the past to create a better future.
- History has been widely taught in school for well over a century now; however, there have still been repeated wars, there is still poverty, inequality, prejudice, violence, and an inability to work together for the common good weal .
- (wrong word) Somehow we have failed to learn the lessons of history, so there seems to be a flaw in this the argument that history is most important.
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Some people argue that history is most important than other school subjects. I believe that the priority should be given to the subjects like Science and Technology.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that history complies (wrong verb) includes real life stories which can further
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