Please Review My IELTS Writing Task 2

Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature, or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

With the increase of criminals caught on cameras every day, many experts are doing several researches to explore the causes of this ever-growing problem, and some have stated that a criminal nature can be discovered in a person as early as when they are three years old. This leads to a belief that crimes are deep-rooted in each human’s mind, however, it’s highly possible that we can prevent criminals by nurturing children in the right way.

First and foremost, there are some valid points on the opinion that crimes are natural and cannot be prevented. The human race has gone through millions of years of development, and billions of cases of offenses and faults have been recorded, from minor ones like pick-pocketing to more serious ones like assassination. It seems, even when we have already implemented thousands of different methods, the criminal rate continues to grow with no sign of stopping. Also, there have been already many recorded cases of crimes where the people committed came from families with a criminal record. This means children who are born in a criminal family may eventually become ones.

Nevertheless, in my opinion, it is highly unlikely that preventing the children from growing up to be lawbreakers is impossible. In areas with advanced education, the crime rate is usually lower than that of areas with poor education. By providing quality teaching and coaching, children will know how to behave in the society where they live, and will learn how to obey laws. Moreover, several children and adults who committed crime before admitted that the main reason for their offense was poverty. In this case, if their neighborhoods and the governments can help raise funds for the needy, then these incidences may never happen again in the future.

All in all, we have to accept the fact that criminals are still here to stay and can continue to raise fear for other people. However, with the assistance of education and governments, we will be able to build a better future for our children, and ultimately make them become lawful and ethical citizens.