Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2

Topic:

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

My essay:

Some people believe that the health of people will worsen in the following years. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this belief because scientific advancement and awareness improvement can help people achieve a better health standard in the future.

Development in the science field is the first reason why I think there is a betterment in people's health in the future. In other words, more severe diseases will be treated when scientists explore some treatments for these illnesses. Therefore, better medicine will save more people who have some incurable diseases that today's health care system is not able to tackle. For example, some scientists and pharmacists in Cambridge University are researching into noticing the people who have some early syndromes of Parkinson's through their gestures and skin tone. By doing this, they will be able to provide exact treatment to these people as soon as possible to prevent that disease.

Another reason why I consider that the average standard of people's health will be heightened in next years is that the knowledge of people about their health is improving significantly. Modern people tend to care for what is affecting their health as they want to have a longer life and become healthier. As a result, these people will raise their awareness of the food they eat and strive to have more balanced diets. Furthermore, there are more non-profit organizations founded in order to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle and provide these people with information about work-life balance. Thus, the improvement of people's knowledge about health in the future will make their health become better.

In conclusion, owing to scientific development and understanding of health, I strongly believe that in the future people will have a healthier life.