Please Review my IELTS Writing Task 2
Topic: Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My essay:
It would be argued by some that it is necessary to accommodate people of all age or people are not good at academic results with university education. In my opinion, however, I believe that universities should accept only students with the highest marks.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons explain that why some people think that tertiary education should be offered for students at all the age or students who have bad results. The first reason might be that many people are not good at theoretical knowledge, but they could be excellent in the work environment. Maximizing benefit is the most essential aim of a company, so they need employees who are efficient and productive in the job. The second reason is that studying is never out of date for everyone regardless of their age. Because of their financial ability or health, many people have to go to school later than others. And this would not be fair if they were not able to get a university education due to their age.
On the other hand, I would argue that it is better to offer university education for students who have the highest mark. Firstly, This is an efficient way to encourage students in high school to try to study hard if they want to have a chance to enter university campus. Secondly, this trend might choose the best people for the future labor market, which boosts motivation to develop a country's economic growth. In addition to that, this trend might create a sustainable education background which increases competition for the top education among countries in the world.
In conclusion, although people think that university education should open people of all ages or oven people who have not good academic results, I still believe that the admissions criteria of universities are that choosing students having the highest results.
Top answer
It would be argued by S ome argue that it is necessary to accept / admit accommodate people of all age (wrong form) or people with a poor academic record to universities. people are not good at academic results (Ungrammatical clause structure) with university education . In my opinion, however, I believe that universities should accept only those students with the highest marks.
- It would be argued by S ome argue that it is necessary to accept / admit accommodate people of all age (wrong form) or people with a poor academic record to universities.
- people are not good at academic results (Ungrammatical clause structure) with university education .
- In my opinion, however, I believe that universities should accept only those students with the highest marks.
- ( Verbs like "believe" and "agree" are opinions.
- Thus, do not combine them in a sentence with the prepositional phrase "In my opinion".
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
It would be argued by Some argue that it is necessary to accept / admit accommodate people of all age (wrong form) or people with a poor academic record
0
Related Questions