Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2

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Topic essay: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.My essay:While many people believe that marketing manages to convince people to pay more because the quality of the advertisement is improving and the service is more professional, others think that advertising is not attractive anymore due to customers’ habit changes and the popularity of ads. In my opinion, advertising still plays an essential role in consumerism. This essay will analyze both sides of this argument and explain why I agree with the former view.On the one hand, there are those who consider that advertising is not effective anymore for two main reasons. The first cause is that there are several advertisements nowadays. That means consumers are getting more familiar with these ads; therefore, they will not be attracted by the advertisement. Another reason is the change in customer’s habits. In other words, there are more and more people, especially the mid-aged, who prefer to make a list of things they need to purchase before buying anything. As a result, these people can not be affected by advertising.On the other hand, some other people, including me, believe that advertising is working successfully to persuade people to buy things. First, due to technological advancement, there are numerous digital gadgets that can improve the quality of advertisements. For example, the sound of a marketing video would be very attractive with captivating melodies, while modern cameras will provide people with the clearest images. Furthermore, some big companies also hire psychoanalysts to analyze customers’ behaviors. Thus, they will manage to provide the best service.In conclusion, whereas it is comprehensible that people have different views, I believe that advertisements will continue to get public attention with higher quality and more professional service.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

While many people believe that marketing manages to convince people to pay more because the quality of the advertisement is improving (That is entirely off-topic) and the service is more professional, (off-topic) others think that advertising is not attractive anymore due to customers’ habit changes and the popularity of ads. (off-topic) In my opinion, advertising still plays an essential role in consumerism. ~~This essay will analyze both sides of this argument and explain why I agree with the former view.~~

Do not mention your essay. Answer the prompt and give your opinion directly.

You did not understand the task very well. Read the instructions very carefully, at least twice, before starting your brainstorming process.

The task is to discuss these two views:

1. People ignore advertising. There is so much advertising everywhere - on billboards, leaflets, websites, radio and TV - that people may see it, but they forget about it right away. Advertising does not help to sell merchandise. It is useless.

2. Manufacturers and stores love to advertise because people see the ads and buy their products. The more they advertise, the more they sell. That gives them a lot of profits. They use part of their profits to pay for even more elaborate advertising.

On the one hand, there are those who consider that advertising is not effective anymore for two main reasons. The first cause is that there are several advertisements (several means maybe 5 or 6, less than 10. How many ads have you been exposed to today? Have you counted them? What were they for?) nowadays. That means consumers are getting more familiar with these ads; therefore, they will not be attracted by the advertisement. Another reason is the change in customer’s habits. In other words, there are more and more people, especially the mid-aged, who prefer to make a list of things they need to purchase before buying anything. As a result, these people can not be affected by advertising.

On the other hand, some other people~~, including me,~~ (Put your opinion in the first paragraph, not in the body paragraph) believe that advertising is working successfully to persuade people to buy things. First, due to technological advancement, (That expression has little meaning. Technology has been advancing for a million years.) ~~there are~~ ~~numerous digital gadgets~~ using modern equipment ~~that~~ can improve the quality of advertisements. For example, the sound of a marketing video (Sound is not a gadget, and neither is a video.) would be very attractive with captivating melodies, while modern cameras will provide people with the clearest images. Furthermore, some big companies also hire psychoanalysts to analyze customers’ behaviors. Thus, they will manage to provide the best service.

In conclusion, ~~whereas it is comprehensible that people have different views~~, I believe that advertisements will continue to get public attention with higher quality and more professional service.

Learn to use the word "technology". It is very broad.

Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2

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